wickedflea: (Default)
wickedflea ([personal profile] wickedflea) wrote2001-04-15 06:11 pm

wiped out

ugh. I drove 570 miles Friday (shorter but slower route), went to a wedding yesterday, and drove back home 625 miles last night (longer but quicker route). Got back about 4:15 a.m. (according to some time zone or other -- can't quite remember which). I need to do some work for this literary journal I work with -- scanning, OCR, and proofreading -- but I am completely zonked and can't get started.

I've often wondered why driving is so taxing -- I mean, you're basically just sitting there. I guess it's the stress from constantly having to monitor the situation so you don't get killed. And, if you do anything for 9-12 hours, you're going to be tired.

Phleuh. Somebody send me some crank. :)

Joke

[identity profile] luffbucket.livejournal.com 2001-04-15 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
REGARDING OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AT WORK

It has been brought to our attention that certain individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties.

Due to complaints from some members of staff this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

However, we do realise the importance of staff being able to express their feelings when communicating with other employees.

With this in mind, the Personnel Department has compiled a list of Code Phrase replacements so the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without the risk of offence to fellow workers.

No Fucking way
I'm fairly sure that's not feasible

You're Fucking joking?
Really is that true?

Tell someone who gives a Fuck
Have you run that by your supervisor?

No bastard told me
I wasn't involved in that project.

I don't have the Fucking time
Perhaps I can work late.

No shit
You don't say

Kiss my arse
So you'd like me to help you?

You haven't got a Fucking clue
You could use some extra training

What sort of Fuckwit are you?
You're new here aren't you?

You're a Fucking wanker
You are my boss, I respect you

We do understand that some less communicative employees who currently use single, or at best double words may find themselves unable to comply with the new policy. Hence, the Personnel Department have devised a scheme whereby such employees, for a 3-4 week "grace" period, are permitted to use a TRANSITIONAL PHASE before going on to use the permanent new phrase.

Fuck I've Fucked up
I appear to have made and error.

Fuck, Fuck I've Fucked up again
I appear to have made a double error

Bollocks You're a Fucking liar
You must be wrong

Double Bollocks I don't believe a Fucking word
You are definitely wrong

May we suggest that you start practising these new phrases ASAP.

We will be conducting spot checks on all of the staff with regard to their progress on the transitional phrases.

Thankyou.

Re: Joke

[identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com 2001-04-15 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Hehe. Thanks, I needed that. I think I'll start incorporating some of the "before" (profanity-laced) examples into my speech at work -- you never can have too much use of the word "fuckwit." :)

[identity profile] lunchboxface.livejournal.com 2001-04-16 09:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I've wondered the same thing about driving before, I think another factor is having to keep your arms up on the steering wheel for so many hours, creates tension in your neck and upper back. . . although I like the "survival stress theory" better.