(no subject)

I was just thinking about how I'm not really wild about writing with red pens. I'll do it, though, and in fact I use them a lot at work because they seem to be everywhere around here. I once did a group project for a class with a guy who would not write with a red pen. I once gave him a red pen to use for a second, and he absolutely refused. He babbled something about his mother telling him never to use a red pen, and he went off in search of a suitable writing instrument.

I was walking through the communication building one day with the same guy, and we took a shortcut through this terrace kind of thing to get to the other side of the building. When we walked back in the building (though we'd never technically been out of it), he immediately bolted over to a chair, sat down for literally half a second, got up, and kept walking. I ignored it, but the same thing happened a few days later. I asked him about it, and he again said something about his mother telling him always to sit down first thing when he entered a building.

At the time, I thought he was crazy. But now, I'm more educated about the world and much more tolerant of odd behavior, and I realize that the poor boy was possessed by Satan.

(no subject)

Just What Was He Smoking?

By Gene Weingarten
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, March 21, 2002; Page C01

Now that the latest tapes from the Nixon White House have been released, the press is all over them with characteristic glee, eager as always to remind us that not long ago the leader of the free world was buggier than a flophouse blanket. Don't you get tired of this?

Me neither. So when researcher Doug McVay from Common Sense for Drug Policy sent me tapes he culled from Nixon's Oval Office rants about drugs, I pounced on them. I figured it would be a welcome respite from Nixon's recent rants about Jews.

From the Weed Screed, May 26, 1971:

"You know, it's a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana is Jewish. What the Christ is the matter with the Jews, Bob? What is the matter with them? I suppose it is because most of them are psychiatrists."

In my professional capacity, I diagnose a delusional state of mind. It's simple logic: In a previously released rant, Nixon and Billy Graham gnash and froth over how Jews control the media. How can most Jews be psychiatrists and still control the media? Nixon does not explain.

But he does explain many other things in these drug tapes, including the insidious nexus between drugs, homosexuality, communism and, of course, Jews.

( Read more... )

I knew eating meat was gonna get me one day.

A few weeks ago, I discovered that the secret of cooking a steak indoors is to get a grill pan really fuckin' hot before you put the steak on. It makes a lot of smoke, though, so you have to disconnect your smoke alarm. What's hard to stop, however, is the smoke wafting out into the hallway so that the building smoke alarm goes off and causes the fire department to have to come out and blow the smoke out of your apartment. Which can, does, and, uh, just did happen.

Live and learn, I guess. The steak was still fantastic, though. :)

(no subject)

Oh yeah, tonight I also got to engage in one of my favorite activities -- fucking with phone-company drones. Some poor woman called me tonight and was having such major difficulty in reading her spiel that I had to let her go on just so I could revel in her staggering ineptitude. When she finally asked me who my current long-distance provider was and I replied "the mafia," she took a good fifteen seconds to page through potential answers before finally giving me the inevitable "If you ha-ha-have any qu-qu-questions about ATTTT&T, p-p-please call . . ." The poor dear.