Jul. 8th, 2002

my balls

Jul. 8th, 2002 06:08 pm
wickedflea: (Default)
I almost ran over a basketball on Whalley Avenue a few minutes ago. It reminded me of the time when I was about ten years old and somebody ran over my basketball. We lived on this big hill, and if you were shooting hoops and your shot caromed off the left side of the rim, you had to haul ass and catch the ball before it started bouncing down the driveway, or else it would end up way the hell across the street in a ditch. One day I was too slow to catch the ball, and there it went down the hill and onto Lampkin Road, just in time for this dude in a Thunderbird to run right over it. I would have thought it would have burst open, but instead it went almost completely flat underneath the tire and then came flying out like it had been shot out of a cannon. The best thing about it was the noise -- THUWOING! That ball never did bounce quite right after that.

Then there was the time that Grimmett and I were at the apartment complex his dad lived at and were playing catch on opposite sides of the street. We'd fire the football at each other as cars passed, so that it would go whizzing right in front of the drivers' eyes. Eventually, one of us got a little careless and the ball ended up in the bed of a pickup truck. Game over. Imagine my surprise when, a few weeks later, the very same red Nerf football with a little piece torn out of one end turned up in my front yard several blocks away. I never have figured that one out.

And the time that Fool, Grimmett, and I were playing catch in their front yard. We were tossing the baseball around, and I decided to throw Fool a high pop-up. Right when I did, Fool decided to zone out and stare at a dog or something across the street. Grimmett and I yelled, "John. John! JOHN!" but to no avail; he just stood there. Finally, at the last instant, Fool turned and looked me right in the eye, and right at that moment, the fucking baseball came down and clocked him right on top of the head. He immediately fell out -- flat on his back, arms and legs flailed to each side. It was like he had a heart attack and collapsed right there on the spot. He was only down for about a second, and when he got up, Grimmett and I were already on the ground killing ourselves laughing. Pretty soon, Fool grabbed the ball and started acting like he was going to fire it at one of us, but he didn't go through with it. Hell, we tried to warn him. This incredible episode is yet another example of the Beauty of Freak Occurrences.
wickedflea: (Default)
Just look at this picture. Does it scream "dipshit" or what?

wickedflea: (Default)


When I was home at Christmas, I saw this dude and almost freaked. By the time I could find the camera, though, he was gone. When I saw him this time, I had two cameras and time enough to chase his ass, so I snapped several pictures.

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