(no subject)

One of our editors got a set of proofs back from a proofreader yesterday. The book is written mainly in Portugese, and English is not the proofreader's first language. A note sent with the proofs read:

I apologize for food that dripped on 3 pages in the packet. I place stacks on the floor and it may have caught some rolling aliens in it.

(no subject)

And then there are those people whose whole purpose in life is complaining. If you're working on a difficult project, she's working on a project that's in eight different languages by thirteen different authors, six of whom have major disagreements, and the rest of whom are dead, but their wills legally require us to do conflicting things. If you have the measles, she had the measles last year so frackin' bad that they had to graft new skin onto her entire body, and her body rejected the skin, so they had to have synthetic skin crafted in New Guinea by an autistic witch doctor with a bad attitude. And it still doesn't quite fit right, and it itches incessantly. If your car breaks down, she's got a rusted-out moped from the Ukraine that runs only on yak spit and won't start in cold weather. And she's gonna tell you about it, by god, and if you try to walk away from her she'll tackle your ass and scream in your ear about the time she had to stand in line at the DMV for eight hours on Thanksgiving Day and she got so famished that she had to eat her own sweatsocks.

I never complain, of course. I'm above all that.

pardon me while I kiss this guy

I always thought the first two lines of KISS's "Black Diamond" were "Out on the streets for a livin', bitch has only begun." Come to find out it's "picture's only begun." What the hell kinda sense does that make? Well, I guess it's no weirder than some of the lines in "Deuce" and "Goin' Blind."


"Deuce"

Get up
And get your grandma outta here
Pick up
Old Jim is workin' hard this year
And baby
Do the things he says to do
Baby, if you're feeling good
And baby if you're feeling nice
You know your man is workin' hard
He's worth a deuce

Honey
Don't put your man behind his years
And baby
Stop cryin' all your tears
Baby
Do the things he says to do
Do it

Baby, if you're feeling good
And baby if you're feeling nice
You know your man is workin' hard
He's worth a deuce

And baby, if you're feeling good
Yes baby if you're feeling nice
You know your man is workin' hard
Yeah

(no subject)

Balls!!! A bomb went off at the law school, which is just a couple of blocks from where I work. I left work about 5:20 and noticed that traffic was really bad, and I had to pull over a couple of times to let emergency vehicles pass. I kind of wondered what was going on, but I didn't figure it was anything too freaky. I'll bet it's a freakshow down there right now, though--FBI's supposed to be coming in. I hear helicopters.

I think I'm going to put a bag over my head. That's what Snoopy and Woodstock always did when they thought the world was coming to an end, and it never did. I guess it worked.