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Aug. 15th, 2005 03:59 pmThese new nickels are screwing me up. When I fumble through my change tray looking for a quarter, I see the buffalo on the back of a nickel and think it's one of the state quarters, only to find out it's damn five cents. Motherfuck nickels anyway! They're too damned big to be only five cents. Nickels are for PUSSIES. Even the word throws me off--I always want to type "nickle."
Heck, let's do away with all change. Except for quarters. Quarters are cool. You got four quarters, you got a buck, and that's nothing to sneeze at. But the rest of this chump change has got to go. How much money must this nation have tied up in pennies at the bottom of sock drawers? I'll bet we could enter a new era of economic prosperity if we announced the impending demise of all change and forced people to use it or get stuck. It'd be hell for the people working the nation's cash tills, I guess, but what the hell? When I worked in the service industry, I'd always rather be tied up counting money than sweeping the floor or some kind of slave shit like that.
Heck, let's do away with all change. Except for quarters. Quarters are cool. You got four quarters, you got a buck, and that's nothing to sneeze at. But the rest of this chump change has got to go. How much money must this nation have tied up in pennies at the bottom of sock drawers? I'll bet we could enter a new era of economic prosperity if we announced the impending demise of all change and forced people to use it or get stuck. It'd be hell for the people working the nation's cash tills, I guess, but what the hell? When I worked in the service industry, I'd always rather be tied up counting money than sweeping the floor or some kind of slave shit like that.
