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Nov. 11th, 2002 01:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wickedfleaAll right, look--I'm not the world's safest driver. I probably drive too fast, and I do some things that I probably shouldn't, like changing lanes too often and all that. But I do know how to drive, and I don't go through traffic lights fifteen seconds after they've turned red, and I don't try to squeeze my car into places it can't fit at fifty miles an hour. Heck, I haven't even been in an accident in--well, in recent memory anyway, ten years or so. And let's put those six speeding tickets aside for a minute. Please. I guess what I'm saying is that if you're blowing past me and leaving me in the dust, you're out of control. It's like George Carlin says: anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac.
"Look at this idiot. Wouldja LOOK at this idiot? Whoa, look at that maniac go!!!"
Seriously. I just saw a guy dart around me at the last second so he could run a red light and then, just past the next traffic light, he almost killed me as he tried to swerve in front of me at the fork in the road. And then when I flipped him off and wouldn't let him in, he pulled off and stopped in the middle of the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot. Embarrassed, I guess. Dude, if you've got time to fan your balls in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot, what are you doing driving like such a maniac? Slow the fuck down and let me by, dammit--I've got only an hour for lunch and LiveJournal posts to make!
One good thing about driving around here is that there aren't as many elderly people in those big-ass Lincolns. I think those big tubs of shit should be outlawed. Lincolns, I mean, not elderly people. I guess the Lincoln drivers aren't around here because they've all retired to Florida. My uncle from Jacksonville always complains about 'em. We have our fair share of 'em in Mississippi too, where I guess they can't afford to buy a luxury death-trap hate tank AND a retirement home.
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dangerpest and I did get behind a maniac in a speeding 1978 station wagon with a couch precariously strapped to the top last Sunday night, and that was kind of refreshing to see. I probably hadn't seen one of those since the last time I sped down Rt. 389 between Pheba and Starkville.
Oooh, typing "Starkville" reminds me: I gotta post Johnny Cash's ode to my hometown--"Starkville City Jail," a cute little ditty written about the time he got arrested in downtown Starkzekistan for pissing on the sidewalk. True story. It's on his At Folsom Prison album.
update: Whoops, make that At San Quentin.
"Look at this idiot. Wouldja LOOK at this idiot? Whoa, look at that maniac go!!!"
Seriously. I just saw a guy dart around me at the last second so he could run a red light and then, just past the next traffic light, he almost killed me as he tried to swerve in front of me at the fork in the road. And then when I flipped him off and wouldn't let him in, he pulled off and stopped in the middle of the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot. Embarrassed, I guess. Dude, if you've got time to fan your balls in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot, what are you doing driving like such a maniac? Slow the fuck down and let me by, dammit--I've got only an hour for lunch and LiveJournal posts to make!
One good thing about driving around here is that there aren't as many elderly people in those big-ass Lincolns. I think those big tubs of shit should be outlawed. Lincolns, I mean, not elderly people. I guess the Lincoln drivers aren't around here because they've all retired to Florida. My uncle from Jacksonville always complains about 'em. We have our fair share of 'em in Mississippi too, where I guess they can't afford to buy a luxury death-trap hate tank AND a retirement home.
dangerpest and I did get behind a maniac in a speeding 1978 station wagon with a couch precariously strapped to the top last Sunday night, and that was kind of refreshing to see. I probably hadn't seen one of those since the last time I sped down Rt. 389 between Pheba and Starkville.Oooh, typing "Starkville" reminds me: I gotta post Johnny Cash's ode to my hometown--"Starkville City Jail," a cute little ditty written about the time he got arrested in downtown Starkzekistan for pissing on the sidewalk. True story. It's on his At Folsom Prison album.
update: Whoops, make that At San Quentin.
