(no subject)

[wickedflea]

I was walking to my car in the CVS parking lot and noticed a little tennis ball. I said: "Hey, I can use that, by dog. There are any number of numbnuts in this city who could stand to be clocked by a tennis ball." So I picked it up. I noticed that there seemed to be something moving in the center of the ball, but I figured it was just water since it's been raining for about a year and a half here. Then I got in the car and shook the ball. It jingled merrily. ACK, DOG BALL! I HAVE DOG BALLS!!!

It sort of reminds me of the time in Mrs. Hoyt's seventh-grade English class when I was turned around in my seat and talking to Wes. All of a sudden Wes got this goofy look on his face and started snickering. I turned around and found that Mike Boyd had reached over and deposited a comb on my desk--one of those combs that looks like this:



In one motion, I used the tips of my thumb and forefinger to grab the comb by the end of the handle right where the little circle is, flung it to the front of the room (narrowly missing Mrs. Hoyt) as I screamed, "GREASY COMB!" That poor woman just shook her head and went right on teaching. She shook her head a lot in that class. I remember one time when she beat her head against a cabinet because Chris Simmons couldn't read the sentence "'Come over to my house, said Dick'" aloud without convulsing with laughter and sending the whole class into fits. Then there was the time that I tried to pull Wes's sweatpants down as he walked to his desk after returning from the restroom. Not that I wanted to see him naked or anything--I think it probably had something to do with his not telling me about that greasy comb on my desk.

Comments

[goatsupreme.livejournal.com]

At least it wasn't a neuticle!!

[kuzasanagami.livejournal.com]

And at least it wasn't filled with match heads!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

No kidding--someone might have gotten hit with an exploding dogball! Or the dogball could have exploded in my car!

Yow!

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

I just did a search on that word. Man, there is some truly weird shit out there. (Not that I'm surprised or anything.)

Re: Yow!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Indeed. And it looks like it's real! Snopes.com has nothing on it.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I know! But it would be kind of funny to peg pedestrians with real dogballs. Um, I mean synthetic dogballs.

[tonybologna.livejournal.com]

Hmm, it appears we both enjoy throwing things at people, especially from cars. We should pair up sometime...I can just see the headlines: "Bloody Streets in the Town of New Haven!"

Police stymied by tennis-ball-throwing maniacs

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we should do it! We could even take a road trip--there are hundreds of people up and down the east side of the country I'd like to nail with tennis balls. We could pack up an Econoline with ammo and--wait, that's probably not the best image to use given the current state of things . . . Damn. But if we can't pelt people with stuff, then the terrorists and the snipers have won!

Re: Police stymied by tennis-ball-throwing maniacs

[tonybologna.livejournal.com]

Haha. My cousin (multimillionaire) took me to Pennsylvania with him once, and he bought a bunch of bad CDs first just to throw at people along the way.

Re: Police stymied by tennis-ball-throwing maniacs

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Heh--that's great! My friend and I once drove twenty miles to the next town to get the new Raven tape (it was the '80s) and found out it sucked. We tried to mess it up and say it wouldn't play, but Camelot wouldn't take it back. So on our way back to town we broke it open and threw it out the back window of the car, but we held on to the end of the tape, so we had this Raven tape streaming down the highway . . . I think that episode started a habit of that--breaking open tapes and streaming them out the window while driving just to see how long the tape would get before it broke. I haven't thought of that in YEARS. I'm insane. And old.

Re: Police stymied by tennis-ball-throwing maniacs

[tonybologna.livejournal.com]

Hahaha...that's classic...I'll remember that next time I'm bored.

[mipplet.livejournal.com]

Hey, nice comb!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

HAW! I was just looking at that and thinking, man, with the color and everything, that looks kind of like a weird fish or a prehistoric animal or something . . .

[goatsupreme.livejournal.com]

I thought I was going to read something about crazy baleen whales.