lunchtime survey
Nov. 14th, 2002 01:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wickedfleaI never do these things, but I thought these were really good questions for the most part. And I know that my journal has been a bit short on substance about me lately. But I still proably should have used my lunchtime to eat. Thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mip1979 for the questions.
1) Describe, in your own words, beauty.
Truth. No, hell, I don't know, but certainly it's as subjective as truth.
2) Describe, in your own words, the difference between loving and being in love.
Gah. I might say that loving is something done by one person, while love is by at least two, but what do I know?
3) Do you believe coincidences have meaning?
Yeah, I think they can. I mean, not the everyday "one, two, three, jinx, you owe me a Coke," but I've had coincidences that were too freaky not to mean something. No, I can't think of any right now.
4) Do you ever plan to have children? If so, how many?
I don't know. It's kind of hard to envision, but at the same time there is some desire. It's a scary thought, though.
5) Do you fear death?
Yeah. I think there are several reasons, most particularly the death of my brother when he was eight and I was five. It didn't bother me at all at the time, but I think later I realized, holy shit, he's gone, and it's kind of freaked me out ever since.
6) Do you fear life?
Not anymore. Not like I used to, anyway. I used to be almost consumed with it--what's going to happen if this, if that--but I'm pretty much over that.
7) Do you fear pain?
Yeah--even though I'm actually pretty good at dealing with it now, I always think of myself as weak when it comes to that.
8) Has music ever scared you? If so, what was it?
Not that I can think of. I do remember seeing a guy totally freak out when he was on mushrooms and watching my GWAR video, but I thought it was pretty funny. Those Norwegian black metal bands are kind of scary--I mean, some of those fuckers have actually killed people and eaten their brains. Seriously! There was a famous case where one guy killed his bandmate.
9) Have you ever genuinely hated anyone?
Sure, I guess so. I think I hate the guy who wrote that column that I posted about earlier. Ain't proud of it, but it happens.
10) Have you ever had surgery? If so, what kind?
I ripped open my knee when I was eight and ran past an exposed end of a bolt. Fucked it up pretty bad, and I had to have that put back together. Do you call that surgery? Besides wisdom teeth, I never had anything where they actually cut me open in the first place.
11) Have you ever seen a tornado? Would you ever chase one?
There was one in Starkville a couple of years ago that I kind of saw. I didn't see the funnel cloud or anything, but I saw the wind tearing some stuff up. If I was already on the road, I might chase one just because I'm stupid. I would probably think, OK, as long as I can keep it in front of me, I'm cool.
12) How bad (or good) is your eyesight?
Really good, though I've never had it tested. I've never needed glasses. Sometimes when my eyes are tired they go a little out of focus, but in general I see quite well. You know, now that I think of it, when I had my eye test at the DMV last year I thought for a minute that I wasn't going to be able to read the chart with my right eye. I don't know what that was about.
13) How do you think the world will end?
I agree with mip1979: "I think humans will destroy it and destroy themselves in the process."
14) How important are memories to you?
Very. Do you ever read this journal? It's about eighty percent funny shit that happened to me years ago. i love that stuff.
15) How loud can you scream?
Pretty loud--I can scare the shit out of someone at the stop light even if we both have our windows down. It makes me hoarse for a while, so I don't do it like I used to.
16) How many dramatic, life-altering events have you experienced or witnessed?
Nothing that I can think of, though it seems like I can remember thinking HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! several times. I guess there's nothing that you would call life-altering. I've never quite gotten over seeing that dude fall ass over teakettle out of that Polynesian-themed bar in the French Quarter, right next to Molly's and The Dungeon.
17) How many languages do you wish you knew (and which ones)?
Do I wish I knew? All of them, I guess, hell, if we're speaking in hypotheticals. I wish I knew French so it wouldn't infuriate me so much, and I wish I knew Latin for its relevance to English, and I wish that I was a heck of a lot better at German. (I've forgotten it all despite doing well in four college semesters.)
18) How soon will you get your next body modification and what will it be?
Whaddya mean my NEXT one? Fuck that, man, I'm CLEAN! I should probably get a haircut, though.
19) How would you captivate an audience?
I punch my chest and make it disappear in the crowd. Then I terrorize people with the mountain cat. And then I come out with whip. . . . Maybe for extra added bonus I choke the staff. I'm also known very, very well for pulling large pieces of furniture from my ass. Apologies to the Jerky Boys.
20) If given the choice, how would you want to die?
Feeling like I'd done things that wouldn't be forgotten.
21) If given the choice, which of your senses would you lose first?
ESP. Oh, wait--OK, probably smell. I love smells and think it's a neglected sense that we don't do enough for, but still, I wouldn't put it above any others. Maybe feeling--then I could nail my legs to the table without fear.
22) If you could learn a trade or skill, what would it be?
Probably reading. Oh, OK--I wish I could play guitar. As it is, I just bang around--I don't really think I play.
23) If you could wake up as someone else tomorrow, who would you be?
Hunter S. Thompson approximately 35 years ago. I'd stick around as him for about 10 years and then pick someone else. Probably Willie Nelson from then until 1985 or so. Al Jourgensen until 1992. Bill Clinton for a couple of years. Hunter S. Thompson for another two or three. And then me.
24) Name one song (or more) that makes you cry, and why.
Neil Young's whole Harvest Moon album can do it to me, not only because it's a great album, but also because the memories from my personal life that it brings. The Allmans' "Blue Sky" can if it hits me just right in the car.
25) Name something you take seriously that other people might not (and vice versa).
Peanuts. I think it's serious literature. I will say that a lot of people really do get it--more than I might have thought a few years ago. I probably don't take religion seriously enough. I'm not religious at all (though I wouldn't say not spiritual), so I can tend to joke about things that a lot of people don't think are funny. You know, like that time I streaked through the tent revival.
26) Pick your poison.
Oh, man, why did you ask me this? It used to be beer. No matter how it ended up, it would always start with beer. Many times I would move on to liquor--bourbon, vodka, even tequila depending on my mood. I went through a year or so when I drank Wild Turkey like a FOOL. I could drink that shit like water. Then I started getting into those high-proof schnapps--Rumple Minze, Fire Water, etc. Damn, I used to drink the hell out of that.
27) To whom have you lied?
Oh, man, you name it. I've tried to cut that out except for "white lies."
28) What article of clothing could you do without for the rest of your life?
Briefs, and I will go without 'em for the rest of my life unless they put 'em on me when I go to the banana barn. God hell, I hate those things. Boxers all the way for me.
29) What do you like most about yourself?
My sense of humor, my love of words, and my kindness.
30) What do you like least about yourself?
My tendencies toward procrastination and sloth.
31) What do you wish you had been named?
I like my name, but I sort of wish my parents had called me by my middle name, Blake. I've thought about starting to go by it, but I would feel really pretentious. What about "C. Blake Heller"? Yeah, but then I'd have to find a woman named Zelda or something. Hey, are there any of you with the middle name of Zelda?
32) What have you gotten rid of that you now wish you had kept?
I traded in my pickup truck when I got my car a couple of years ago. I wish I still had it--not instead of my car, but just to knock around in. I put a lot of miles on that truck, and it was a good one, even if it did have no radio and no a/c. Black-and-white photography trips to the MS Delta just don't feel right unless you're sweating your ears off and throwing empty cans in the bed.
33) What have you saved that you wish you had gotten rid of?
Probably magazines. I have gotten rid of a lot of them, but I used to keep every Rolling Stone, every Spin, every Atlantic Monthly, etc.
34) What is the best live performance you have ever seen?
Gotta be a Mule show. I hate to say the last one, but 10/11/02 was damn good. 5/5/01 too. But then, the 3/23/02 ABB was great, and the fIREHOSE show in '91 was unbelievable. Lollapalooza '92 w/ Ministry, RHCP, Soundgarden, Sharkbait, Boo-Yaa Tribe . . . man, it's hard to say. And then there was that fucker with the scythe screaming about Jesus on the sidewalk that time.
35) What is the most meaningful word you have ever heard?
I love words, but for some reason I'm not crazy about this question. I would have to say it's from the movie Midnight Madness, when that dumb guy on the blue team tries to unscramble a word and utters the immortal " . . . Fagabeefe?!"
36) What is the most serious crime you would be willing & able to commit?
Probably some kind of computer fraud where I stole a bunch of money from some Michael Milken type.
37) What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?
Man, Alien scared the living shit out of me when that snake-like thing came out of that guy's stomach. I saw that movie when I was eight or nine and haven't been able to watch it again since. There was another made-for-TV movie starring Anne Ramsey of Throw Momma from the Train fame where she stabbed a kid in a store. What was the name of that? It was White Mama, I think. Yeah, White Mama! Bette Davis was in it! Does anyone remember that?!? Anyway, it freaked me right out, man--I had nightmares.
38) What is your best-kept secret?
I don't know--they won't tell me.
39) What is your experience, if any, with illegal substances?
Long and illustrious.
40) What is your favorite:
Mode of transportation?
Cars, though I loved flying the last time I flew. You know, back in 1985. Seriously.
41) Name, male and/or female?
What? I dunno--Lester and Hortense, probably.
42) Planetary body?
The moon rules. Our moon, I mean--fuck all them Merciter and Jupurn moons. They're just haters, imitators, and masturbators.
43) Season?
Spring, closely followed by summer. Winter runs a dead last.
44) Type of writing instrument?
Mechanical pencils and those fat Schaeffer pens.
45) Smell?
Fresh herbs, especially rosemary.
46) Sound?
Gibson guitars.
47) Taste?
Mississippi tomatoes with salt and fresh pepper. Maybe some basil, oil, and vinegar. With green peppers, mozzarella, and sweet Vidalia onions. Followed by some Sonny's BBQ. But definitely the tomatoes.
48) Texture or sensation?
Sensation. Oh, wait--flannel.
49) What is your fondest memory?
Trip to Europe in '85.
Practicing with Dry Heave.
The summer of black-and-white photography in '98.
French Quarter acid trip. See #16.
Publishing course last summer.
The past year and a half.
50) What is your greatest fear?
Death or depression.
51) What is your oddest or quirkiest talent?
Being able to make this cool popping noise with my lips--I can do incredible rhythms. I can also make a really loud noise by flinging my hand toward the ground and slapping my fingers together. CRACK!!!
52) What makes you nostalgic?
Long driving trips.
53) What makes you strong?
Family and spinach.
54) What makes you vulnerable?
Wild Turkey.
55) What place have you been to that you never want to return to again?
Southwest Virginia. Not to stay, anyway. Ugh.
56) What religion, if any, were you raised in?
None. We were nominally Baptist, I guess, but we didn't go to church.
57) What would you put on a vanity license plate?
SHITEYES
58) What would you teach to someone else?
OK, I say in here somewhere that I don't like pretense, and I know I'm bordering on it here, but this poem says it better than I can.
Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show,
That she (dear she) might take some pleasure of my pain;
Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know,
Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain;
I sought fit words to paint the blackest face of woe,
Studying inventions fine, her wits to entertain;
Oft turning others’ leaves, to see if thence would flow
Some fresh and fruitful showers upon my sunburnt brain.
But words came halting forth, wanting invention’s stay;
Invention, Nature’s child, fled step-dame study’s blows;
And others’ feet still seemed but strangers in my way.
Thus great with child to speak, and helpless in my throes,
Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite,
‘Fool,’ said my muse to me, ‘look in thy heart and write.’
Sir Philip Sidney,
Astrophil and Stella #154
59) What would you want to be remembered for?
Being decent, caring, and well-written.
60) Where must you go before you die?
I could always stand to go to New Orleans again. I'd really like to go to London again.
61) Who are "your people"?
People who know that the only two kind of people in the world are those who think that there are only two kinds of people in the world and those who are smart enough to know better. People who are intelligent yet not pretentious.
62) Who, if anyone, has broken your heart?
Nobody.
63) Who, if anyone, has mended it?
n/a
64) Why are we here?
Plastic.
65) Why are you here?
Polymers.
mip1979 for the questions.1) Describe, in your own words, beauty.
Truth. No, hell, I don't know, but certainly it's as subjective as truth.
2) Describe, in your own words, the difference between loving and being in love.
Gah. I might say that loving is something done by one person, while love is by at least two, but what do I know?
3) Do you believe coincidences have meaning?
Yeah, I think they can. I mean, not the everyday "one, two, three, jinx, you owe me a Coke," but I've had coincidences that were too freaky not to mean something. No, I can't think of any right now.
4) Do you ever plan to have children? If so, how many?
I don't know. It's kind of hard to envision, but at the same time there is some desire. It's a scary thought, though.
5) Do you fear death?
Yeah. I think there are several reasons, most particularly the death of my brother when he was eight and I was five. It didn't bother me at all at the time, but I think later I realized, holy shit, he's gone, and it's kind of freaked me out ever since.
6) Do you fear life?
Not anymore. Not like I used to, anyway. I used to be almost consumed with it--what's going to happen if this, if that--but I'm pretty much over that.
7) Do you fear pain?
Yeah--even though I'm actually pretty good at dealing with it now, I always think of myself as weak when it comes to that.
8) Has music ever scared you? If so, what was it?
Not that I can think of. I do remember seeing a guy totally freak out when he was on mushrooms and watching my GWAR video, but I thought it was pretty funny. Those Norwegian black metal bands are kind of scary--I mean, some of those fuckers have actually killed people and eaten their brains. Seriously! There was a famous case where one guy killed his bandmate.
9) Have you ever genuinely hated anyone?
Sure, I guess so. I think I hate the guy who wrote that column that I posted about earlier. Ain't proud of it, but it happens.
10) Have you ever had surgery? If so, what kind?
I ripped open my knee when I was eight and ran past an exposed end of a bolt. Fucked it up pretty bad, and I had to have that put back together. Do you call that surgery? Besides wisdom teeth, I never had anything where they actually cut me open in the first place.
11) Have you ever seen a tornado? Would you ever chase one?
There was one in Starkville a couple of years ago that I kind of saw. I didn't see the funnel cloud or anything, but I saw the wind tearing some stuff up. If I was already on the road, I might chase one just because I'm stupid. I would probably think, OK, as long as I can keep it in front of me, I'm cool.
12) How bad (or good) is your eyesight?
Really good, though I've never had it tested. I've never needed glasses. Sometimes when my eyes are tired they go a little out of focus, but in general I see quite well. You know, now that I think of it, when I had my eye test at the DMV last year I thought for a minute that I wasn't going to be able to read the chart with my right eye. I don't know what that was about.
13) How do you think the world will end?
I agree with mip1979: "I think humans will destroy it and destroy themselves in the process."
14) How important are memories to you?
Very. Do you ever read this journal? It's about eighty percent funny shit that happened to me years ago. i love that stuff.
15) How loud can you scream?
Pretty loud--I can scare the shit out of someone at the stop light even if we both have our windows down. It makes me hoarse for a while, so I don't do it like I used to.
16) How many dramatic, life-altering events have you experienced or witnessed?
Nothing that I can think of, though it seems like I can remember thinking HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! several times. I guess there's nothing that you would call life-altering. I've never quite gotten over seeing that dude fall ass over teakettle out of that Polynesian-themed bar in the French Quarter, right next to Molly's and The Dungeon.
17) How many languages do you wish you knew (and which ones)?
Do I wish I knew? All of them, I guess, hell, if we're speaking in hypotheticals. I wish I knew French so it wouldn't infuriate me so much, and I wish I knew Latin for its relevance to English, and I wish that I was a heck of a lot better at German. (I've forgotten it all despite doing well in four college semesters.)
18) How soon will you get your next body modification and what will it be?
Whaddya mean my NEXT one? Fuck that, man, I'm CLEAN! I should probably get a haircut, though.
19) How would you captivate an audience?
I punch my chest and make it disappear in the crowd. Then I terrorize people with the mountain cat. And then I come out with whip. . . . Maybe for extra added bonus I choke the staff. I'm also known very, very well for pulling large pieces of furniture from my ass. Apologies to the Jerky Boys.
20) If given the choice, how would you want to die?
Feeling like I'd done things that wouldn't be forgotten.
21) If given the choice, which of your senses would you lose first?
ESP. Oh, wait--OK, probably smell. I love smells and think it's a neglected sense that we don't do enough for, but still, I wouldn't put it above any others. Maybe feeling--then I could nail my legs to the table without fear.
22) If you could learn a trade or skill, what would it be?
Probably reading. Oh, OK--I wish I could play guitar. As it is, I just bang around--I don't really think I play.
23) If you could wake up as someone else tomorrow, who would you be?
Hunter S. Thompson approximately 35 years ago. I'd stick around as him for about 10 years and then pick someone else. Probably Willie Nelson from then until 1985 or so. Al Jourgensen until 1992. Bill Clinton for a couple of years. Hunter S. Thompson for another two or three. And then me.
24) Name one song (or more) that makes you cry, and why.
Neil Young's whole Harvest Moon album can do it to me, not only because it's a great album, but also because the memories from my personal life that it brings. The Allmans' "Blue Sky" can if it hits me just right in the car.
25) Name something you take seriously that other people might not (and vice versa).
Peanuts. I think it's serious literature. I will say that a lot of people really do get it--more than I might have thought a few years ago. I probably don't take religion seriously enough. I'm not religious at all (though I wouldn't say not spiritual), so I can tend to joke about things that a lot of people don't think are funny. You know, like that time I streaked through the tent revival.
26) Pick your poison.
Oh, man, why did you ask me this? It used to be beer. No matter how it ended up, it would always start with beer. Many times I would move on to liquor--bourbon, vodka, even tequila depending on my mood. I went through a year or so when I drank Wild Turkey like a FOOL. I could drink that shit like water. Then I started getting into those high-proof schnapps--Rumple Minze, Fire Water, etc. Damn, I used to drink the hell out of that.
27) To whom have you lied?
Oh, man, you name it. I've tried to cut that out except for "white lies."
28) What article of clothing could you do without for the rest of your life?
Briefs, and I will go without 'em for the rest of my life unless they put 'em on me when I go to the banana barn. God hell, I hate those things. Boxers all the way for me.
29) What do you like most about yourself?
My sense of humor, my love of words, and my kindness.
30) What do you like least about yourself?
My tendencies toward procrastination and sloth.
31) What do you wish you had been named?
I like my name, but I sort of wish my parents had called me by my middle name, Blake. I've thought about starting to go by it, but I would feel really pretentious. What about "C. Blake Heller"? Yeah, but then I'd have to find a woman named Zelda or something. Hey, are there any of you with the middle name of Zelda?
32) What have you gotten rid of that you now wish you had kept?
I traded in my pickup truck when I got my car a couple of years ago. I wish I still had it--not instead of my car, but just to knock around in. I put a lot of miles on that truck, and it was a good one, even if it did have no radio and no a/c. Black-and-white photography trips to the MS Delta just don't feel right unless you're sweating your ears off and throwing empty cans in the bed.
33) What have you saved that you wish you had gotten rid of?
Probably magazines. I have gotten rid of a lot of them, but I used to keep every Rolling Stone, every Spin, every Atlantic Monthly, etc.
34) What is the best live performance you have ever seen?
Gotta be a Mule show. I hate to say the last one, but 10/11/02 was damn good. 5/5/01 too. But then, the 3/23/02 ABB was great, and the fIREHOSE show in '91 was unbelievable. Lollapalooza '92 w/ Ministry, RHCP, Soundgarden, Sharkbait, Boo-Yaa Tribe . . . man, it's hard to say. And then there was that fucker with the scythe screaming about Jesus on the sidewalk that time.
35) What is the most meaningful word you have ever heard?
I love words, but for some reason I'm not crazy about this question. I would have to say it's from the movie Midnight Madness, when that dumb guy on the blue team tries to unscramble a word and utters the immortal " . . . Fagabeefe?!"
36) What is the most serious crime you would be willing & able to commit?
Probably some kind of computer fraud where I stole a bunch of money from some Michael Milken type.
37) What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?
Man, Alien scared the living shit out of me when that snake-like thing came out of that guy's stomach. I saw that movie when I was eight or nine and haven't been able to watch it again since. There was another made-for-TV movie starring Anne Ramsey of Throw Momma from the Train fame where she stabbed a kid in a store. What was the name of that? It was White Mama, I think. Yeah, White Mama! Bette Davis was in it! Does anyone remember that?!? Anyway, it freaked me right out, man--I had nightmares.
38) What is your best-kept secret?
I don't know--they won't tell me.
39) What is your experience, if any, with illegal substances?
Long and illustrious.
40) What is your favorite:
Mode of transportation?
Cars, though I loved flying the last time I flew. You know, back in 1985. Seriously.
41) Name, male and/or female?
What? I dunno--Lester and Hortense, probably.
42) Planetary body?
The moon rules. Our moon, I mean--fuck all them Merciter and Jupurn moons. They're just haters, imitators, and masturbators.
43) Season?
Spring, closely followed by summer. Winter runs a dead last.
44) Type of writing instrument?
Mechanical pencils and those fat Schaeffer pens.
45) Smell?
Fresh herbs, especially rosemary.
46) Sound?
Gibson guitars.
47) Taste?
Mississippi tomatoes with salt and fresh pepper. Maybe some basil, oil, and vinegar. With green peppers, mozzarella, and sweet Vidalia onions. Followed by some Sonny's BBQ. But definitely the tomatoes.
48) Texture or sensation?
Sensation. Oh, wait--flannel.
49) What is your fondest memory?
Trip to Europe in '85.
Practicing with Dry Heave.
The summer of black-and-white photography in '98.
French Quarter acid trip. See #16.
Publishing course last summer.
The past year and a half.
50) What is your greatest fear?
Death or depression.
51) What is your oddest or quirkiest talent?
Being able to make this cool popping noise with my lips--I can do incredible rhythms. I can also make a really loud noise by flinging my hand toward the ground and slapping my fingers together. CRACK!!!
52) What makes you nostalgic?
Long driving trips.
53) What makes you strong?
Family and spinach.
54) What makes you vulnerable?
Wild Turkey.
55) What place have you been to that you never want to return to again?
Southwest Virginia. Not to stay, anyway. Ugh.
56) What religion, if any, were you raised in?
None. We were nominally Baptist, I guess, but we didn't go to church.
57) What would you put on a vanity license plate?
SHITEYES
58) What would you teach to someone else?
OK, I say in here somewhere that I don't like pretense, and I know I'm bordering on it here, but this poem says it better than I can.
Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show,
That she (dear she) might take some pleasure of my pain;
Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know,
Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain;
I sought fit words to paint the blackest face of woe,
Studying inventions fine, her wits to entertain;
Oft turning others’ leaves, to see if thence would flow
Some fresh and fruitful showers upon my sunburnt brain.
But words came halting forth, wanting invention’s stay;
Invention, Nature’s child, fled step-dame study’s blows;
And others’ feet still seemed but strangers in my way.
Thus great with child to speak, and helpless in my throes,
Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite,
‘Fool,’ said my muse to me, ‘look in thy heart and write.’
Sir Philip Sidney,
Astrophil and Stella #154
59) What would you want to be remembered for?
Being decent, caring, and well-written.
60) Where must you go before you die?
I could always stand to go to New Orleans again. I'd really like to go to London again.
61) Who are "your people"?
People who know that the only two kind of people in the world are those who think that there are only two kinds of people in the world and those who are smart enough to know better. People who are intelligent yet not pretentious.
62) Who, if anyone, has broken your heart?
Nobody.
63) Who, if anyone, has mended it?
n/a
64) Why are we here?
Plastic.
65) Why are you here?
Polymers.
