(no subject)

[wickedflea]

I think I'm being stalked.

I walked outside for lunch, and on the sidewalk by my car was this woman, probably not a day under, say, 42--big wall of black, frizzy hair, red eye makeup smeared all over like something out of a new wave video, and wearing a fucking SCHOOLGIRL outfit, and the crazy wind was blowing her skirt all up. So of course I started fumbling in my jacket for my camera. But she was staring me down like whoa, so I got spooked and got in the car.

Went out. Ran some errands. Got lunch. Came back and parked on a different street, got out of the car, and there's Trixie again, and she's giving me the cocktail eye. I didn't even reach for my camera this time, mang--just scooted across the street like a bat out of hell. I looked back and she was still staring me down and sorta rubbing her belly or something. If she's still out there when I leave tonight, I'm gonna call for a police escort.

People are endlessly entertaining, yet often incredibly fearsome.

Comments

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

You meet the most interesting people.

[ex-thebellja885.livejournal.com]

this story is just as funny the second time.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Hehe! Want me to send her over to your place?

[alicdeni83.livejournal.com]

Thanks for making my afternoon! I hope she doesn't kidnap you and chop you into pieces.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

What can I say? I'm a frick magnet.

[mipplet.livejournal.com]

Yikes.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I hope she at least has the decency to kill me before she molests me.

[ex-thebellja885.livejournal.com]

I think you know I've got my fair share of loons already, but you can always use more. It makes for such fun reading!

[skid-rose.livejournal.com]

She sounds like my old landlord, who perpetually had lipstick on her chin, upper lip, and teeth. She wore terrible, obviously-synthetic wigs with her real hair poking out underneath. We called her Phyllis Diller.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

F'real though. It made me quite nervous.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's the type, all right. How do people end up like that?

[acadiabaird.livejournal.com]

we NEED pics!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I can already see what's going to happen. I'm going to go out there and hide behind a trash can to get pictures of this bird, and the next thing I know, some guy will be stuffing me into the back of a squad car, saying, "We're on to you, you mother fucker. This poor young girl says you've been stalking her all day!"

[cynical5679.livejournal.com]

HOTT

[dj-daeva.livejournal.com]

she wants to eat you.

<3

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

OMG don't say that! I was already thinking that "hungrily" would be the best word to describe how she was looking at me!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I know you are but what am I?

[cynical5679.livejournal.com]

you are the one attracting all these ladies.

Im just sitting here, getting nathang.

[dj-daeva.livejournal.com]

hahaha she TOTALLY does...why do you think she was rubbing her belly.

either she wants to eat you or she wants you to be her next host body.

<3

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Pffft. Then take a trip away from Oklahomo.

[skid-rose.livejournal.com]

Um...I always wanted to ask- er, no. No, I didn't. I just wanted to know without having to talk to her, because those conversations were always like having my wisdom teeth removed sans anaesthesia. She didn't always make sense; I'm convinced she was mildly schizophrenic. Sometimes she spoke coherently, but she never failed to negate the faith in her those rare exhanges inspired by leaving weird notes on our door or stopping my boyfriend outside- he didn't even live there- to ask him about my cat or some nonsense.

So my answer would be: they're born crazy and no one ever bothered to lock 'em up.

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

The new wave ladies can't resist the Flea. Awww yeah!

[sida-al-hurra.livejournal.com]

So of course I started fumbling in my jacket for my camera.

AAAAHAHAHAHA! OH MANG you make me laugh.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

HAW. I can't help it, I'm just wired that way! It's my first instinct when I see something freaky. "Holy SHIT look at that guy with a broomstick up his ass! Where the hell's my camera?!?"

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

They all know I gots a lot of flavor.

[madetoshine.livejournal.com]

Totally!

Random comment for cynical5679 -- I was browsing Chris' friends page and I saw your journal and I thought you were hilarious.

[cynical5679.livejournal.com]

you should see the friends filter stuff, it makes me cringe sometimes.

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

See? Pumpert L. Poontang was right. The bitches ARE crazy hott for you.