(no subject)

[wickedflea]

Tell me something I should know.

Comments

[4hour-ramona.livejournal.com]

i love pistachios but hate pecans. however, i hate pistachio pudding and love pecan pie.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Veddy interesting! I love pecans in just about any fashion, but I'm not crazy about pistachio ice cream. I don't think I've ever had pistachio pudding.

You know, of course, that I make a pecan pie that'd make you slap your grammaw . . .

[4hour-ramona.livejournal.com]

pistachio pudding is all weird. and the wrong shade fo green.

bake me a pie! send it to me!

[dangerpest.livejournal.com]

Never lick a steak knife

[lastcallforcorn.livejournal.com]

this use of the word "pansy"-- 2 a. usually disparaging : an effeminate man or boy b. usually disparaging : a male homosexual-- is actually quite inaccurate. they bloom in ice, in snow, when others have given up months before. pansies are very resilient flowers.

[lemmons.livejournal.com]

Toads make a funny whack-thump sound when you accidentally run them over with the lawn mower.

:(

[ozmaofoz.livejournal.com]

I did flood zone certifications for rural South Caroline counties in the early 90's. A lot of these counties still used rural route and box for addresses and none of the roads were "officially" named. We needed maps to do the certifications so I would collect any and all maps made of those areas. There were a lot of "old timey" names for some of the roads. like "Burning Gin" (a name obviously gotten during prohibition) or Old Church. There was almost always an Old Church or a Burning Gin or a Cotton Still. And almost all of these fucking places had a road called "Nigger Skull Rd" or "Hang Nigger Rd".

My favorite thing to do would be to call the county assesor's office and say "What's the name of County Road 2942?" and they would go look at the map and come back and say "Ummmmmm. That road don't have no name.".

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I actually have done that. I don't think I've ever cut myself, but I've come close enough to realize, holy shit, this is not exactly safe.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Excellent! Usage notes are always welcome.

[bellastrega.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen you in 7 months. if I don't see you soon I'mma rupture myself.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Yikes! What colors do they make when they fly out of the mower?

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Whoa, no shit?!? That's incredible. I never saw anything like that even in Mississippi.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Jesus, I can't believe it's been that long. :( I miss you a lot, and I do want to get over there soon to see you, your new place, and my girl Suki. I would say this weekend, but I'm still gimpy and wouldn't be up for much moving around, I'm afraid. Let's definitely do something in June, though, OK?

[genepool23.livejournal.com]

Fudd's first law of Opposition: If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.

Teslacles diviant to Fudd's law: If it goes in, it must come out.

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

I have just joined a paranormal investigative team here in Louisiana.

Yes, I am going to be a ghost buster.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

qpoidjfaposijfdasasdf. I have a feeling thebelljar will get a kick out of this.

Say, after you hone your ghostbusting skills, do you think you could come and exterminate the Whoremonger from my house? He still lives in my stereo speaker.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

That's Deep.

[mellancholie.livejournal.com]

sometimes my cat scrappy likes to steal my breath in my sleep.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Them cats is scary like that. One time, I was dreaming that I was trying to walk in the back door to my house, but a cat was preventing me from getting in by madly slashing at my leg. No matter how hard I thrashed against it, the cat wouldn't let go. Finally I woke up, and my cat Abigail was sleeping on my face.

[lemmons.livejournal.com]

Well I've got a bag on my mower, but a few muddy looking chunks escaped. I almost blew a few chunks myself. It was disgrossting.

[4hour-ramona.livejournal.com]

oh, and also, i like calling people ponces.

[saying-things.livejournal.com]

You should never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

[rottensick.livejournal.com]

Never have sex in a Hyundai. You'll bust your kneecap on the gear shift.

Women who don't wear underwear into changing rooms to try on any form of panties should be shot.

If you drop a shotglass accidentally into the garbage disposal expect brown shit to start shooting everywhere.

Someone in my high school, during lunch break, was doing donuts in the parking lot while smoking a joint. Everything was great until somehow his car flipped and rolled over.

Is it just me or is her boobs crooked?

I'll rape your dog with a plow.

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

You still having that problem, eh? It's all Jack Chick's fault.

I'll be there with my tape recorder, digital camera, and maybe Spengler and Venkman.

I need a proton pack.

[cynical5679.livejournal.com]

that it will make you blind and make you grow hair on your palms

[m-fallenangel.livejournal.com]

The most effective 9mm Federal Hydra-Shok load weighs 147 grains (.336 ounces or 9.5 grams). The .45 weighs 230 grains (.526 ounces or 14.9 grams).

You can stab a Cold Steel Voyager lockback knife through a car door without blunting the tip.

My dog is beautiful, my girlfriend's a goddess and my lawn needs weeding. (No, that's not a euphemism for anything.)

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

More stellar phraseology.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Depends on what you're into, I would imagine.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Do chicks really try on underwear like that? That's beyond scary.

"Rape your dog with a plow" made me let loose with a wholly inappropriate guffaw right at work, I'll have you know.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Hmmmmm. I should start exploring alternatives.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Dammit. And to think I'd been using a shoehorn all these years.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

You said "load."