(no subject)

[wickedflea]

Man, it's going to be quite interesting reading about local politics around here. I heard a radio ad the other day from the Alabama Legislative Democratic Leadership Council that announced plans for a "Covenant for the Future." Call me crazy, but I get a little suspicious when I hear politicians use words like "covenant." Sure enough, I checked out their site, and the "Faith & Values" section of their plan promises to:

1. Pass a constitutional amendment confirming that all life is a gift from God and should be protected; and that life begins at conception
2. Require public schools to offer Bible Literacy as part of their curriculum
3. Defeat any efforts to redefine marriage or provide the benefits of marriage to a same-sex union

Motherfuck these people. And these are the DEMOCRATS, my frens.

I'm gonna start a Coven for the Future. And I'm gonna pronounce it "coe-vin" like Mark Borchardt, cuz he's an AMERICAN, and he was in a flick called AMERICAN MOVIE, and covens have been around in this country since probly the Salem fuckin' Witch Trials, and if you can't get down with witch hunts, baby, you ain't my kind of American. If we're gonna inject religion into our politics, let's do it right and KILL SOME FUCKIN' GOATS, WHOOO HOOO IT IS ON

Ahem. Sorry about that. I sort of lose control a little bit when I'm possessed by the unholy spirit, especially when it comes to politics.

Anyway. I also saw an article in the Birmingham newspaper today that mentioned the city police chief's characterization of the recent upturn in violent crime as a Satanic attack against the city caused by her own outspoken Christianity. If that's not an argument for public officials' keeping their cake holes shut about religion, I dunno what is.

Oh yeah, all this talk of religion in Alabammer reminds me that I never reported on seeing Talladega Nights a while back. The crowd didn't find the whole Baby Jesus thing funny at all. I was busting a gut when Ricky and Cal were envisioning Jesus as the singer in a Skynyrd cover band, but except for me, the theater was pretty silent. The gay storyline, however, had the place erupting with groans and vomit noises.

Pluto got totally dissed, yo. How could they do that to Pluto? Muphuggas aways picking on the little guy.

I'm really jonesing to see a good movie in the theater, but most of what plays here is crap.

Tuscaloosa is just a teensy bit more crowded than it was a couple of weeks ago. I think the fall semester started or somesing. I think there's some sort of local football team that's going to go rolling soon. I'm not really sure.

Speaking of semesters starting up, I've noticed myself getting sort of nostalgic for school. I'd kick around the idea of going back and actually finishing a master's this time, but I don't know what I'd want to go for. I'm kind of over being an English major, and I was over being a journalism major years ago. I dunno. Maybe I'll go into theology or something.

Comments

[sukieseven.livejournal.com]

you don't work on campus? oh, then t town sucks. i swear, i was on campus ensconced in the academic life. YOU POOR THING!~ well, bless your heart.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do! And I like it--I'm just joshin'. I work over on the edge of campus, though, so I kinda miss the hustle-bustle around the quad and such.

[sukieseven.livejournal.com]

well, how many students are on campus now?

[sukieseven.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna start a Coven for the Future. And I'm gonna pronounce it "coe-vin" like Mark Borchardt, cuz he's an AMERICAN, and he was in a flick called AMERICAN MOVIE, and covens have been around in this country since probly the Salem fuckin' Witch Trials, and if you can't get down with witch hunts, baby, you ain't my kind of American. If we're gonna inject religion into our politics, let's do it right and KILL SOME FUCKIN' GOATS, WHOOO HOOO IT IS ON MY GOD, THIS IS HIGHLARIOUS!!!

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

"Maybe I'll go into theology or something."

Do it!

You know, these fuckers are why I have such a love/hate relationship with the south. Sure, religious nutbags exist everywhere, but GODDAMN...shake a switch in that neck of the country and you'll hit at least ONE group of so called political figures that are really just trumpeting the word of their "god". Fuck 'em all!

24 years I spent below the mason dixon line. Dang. Still gives me shivers...

...not that I won't visit you one day, or NoLA again, or even Atlanta...but I might need a hazmat suit endorsed with a 666 iron-on patch first.

Pluto is better off, not being associated with a solar system that has this sort of shit going on. Farewell, Pluto! I'll miss ya. And to me? You're not dead! So fuck you, Mike Brown! (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14489259/?GT1=8404)

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I think it's supposed to be like 23,000, and the president wants to increase it to 28,000 in the next five years or something.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

WITCHES AND SATANISTS FOR FREEDOM!!!

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

unrelated link:

Man has surgery to remove his second, fully functioning penis. (http://winnipegsun.com/News/World/2006/08/20/1766021-sun.html)

Holy McFuckStick, batman!

[cultofheather.livejournal.com]

We're going to go see "Little Miss Sunshine." You'd think it would have wide release in Orlando but alas, you'd be wrong. We have to go to the artsy movie theatre to see it. Have you seen "Snakes on a Plane" yet? I thought it was a hoot.

"Talladega Nights" was funny as hell.

Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

And these are the DEMOCRATS

[owlsdragon.livejournal.com]

The thing what needs rememberin' here, Flea, is that these are Southern Democrats who were once the "Yellow Dog Democrats" of a truly conservative nature.

Re: And these are the DEMOCRATS

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Right you are! I forgot to mention that aspect of it.

[sukieseven.livejournal.com]

i think that's about what it was when we were there.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

WHOA!!!

Did you ever hear about the man with five dicks?

His pants fit like a glove.

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHHAA

::groan::

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Same here, definitely. I want to get one of those Satan fishes to put on my car, but I know I'd come out of work one day to find a smoldering pile of scrap metal in its place.

Usually I'm able to sort of bury my head in the sand and ignore that kind of stuff, but it does kinda slap me in the face sometimes. But it is I who will be slapping folks in the face when I complete my divinity program and become the Dick-Slappin' Deacon of the First United Church of the Holy McFuckStick!!!!!

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

" I complete my divinity program and become the Dick-Slappin' Deacon of the First United Church of the Holy McFuckStick!!!!!"


HAHAHAHAHHAHA!
I can only imagine what your baptism ritual will be...dirty!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, mischievous badger! I was trying to remember that one.

I saw "Snakes" on Saturday. It was a lot of fun, though I was kinda bummed after it was over that I had nothing in life to look forward to anymore. But then I remembered that the Borat movie is coming out in November. =)

Yeah, I was sort of wanting to see "Sunshine," even though I'm not much for Greg Kinnear. I might try to see it in Birmingham if I'm over there this weekend.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

It'll be quite the scene. ;)

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

I wonder just how much you confuse your fellow southerners. : )

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

When I read the word "covenant" in your post, I immediately thought "coe-vin-nant." Hee.

Check it out, yo:



A friend of a friend made it. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Eh. STFU and get yo heathen ass in church, bwah. Nobody thinks that retarded religion-bashing is funny - they just laugh because they think it's expected of non-conformist free thinkers (who just happen to think and act like everybody else in their little religion-hating club).

My favorite phrase of late is "nor the free expression thereof". Where dat comes from? What dat means? Oh my, oh my.

OTOH, I don't like any of these AL politcal candidates. Like, Roy Moore did us (Christians) no real favors.

I'm sure you hippies have a hard time out here. "Democrat" in AL just means 'still owns original sheet set'. They prefer to remain in the party of segregation no matter what abominations the actual modern party professes.

There are very, very few real liberals down here. There are the obligatory Ivory Tower Dwellers, of course. Aside from big ed, there's small ed. A few in social work. Finally, the remaining libs are in, hold on to your hats, religion. Who knew? Hidden deftly beneath the layers and layers of lunatic Fundamentalists in Bama is a busy hive of do-gooders out feeding the poor and fighting racism and generally preaching against not only the righties but also the greedy and the politically foolish.

Christianity is complicated, yo. You chumps only THINK you know the deal.

[here2bsilly.livejournal.com]

wow, your writing and clear thinking just proves that ignorance is bliss and unfortunately, rules the populace. zzzzzzzzzzz
how tired and sad you are.

Nope, still can't read it.

[rottensick.livejournal.com]

Wow. I think The Redneck Dialectizer threw up all over itself again.

Let's see what happens when we translate this mess into Jive:

Eh. Lop some boogie. STFU and dig yo headen ass in church, bwah. Lop some boogie. Nobody dinks dat retarded religion-bashin' be funny - dey plum laugh cuz' dey dink it's 'espected uh non-confo'mist free dinkers (who plum happen t'dink and act likes everybody else in deir little religion-hatin' club). Mah' favo'ite phrase uh late be "no' de free 'espression dereof". Where dat comes fum? Whut dat means? Oh mah', oh mah'. OTOH, ah' duzn't likes any uh dese AL politcal kindun didates. Like, Roy Moo'e dun did us (Christians) no real favo's. I'm sho' man ya' hippies gots some hard time out here. "Democrat" in AL plum means 'still owns o'iginal sheet set'. Dey prefa' to remain in de party uh segregashun no matta' whut abominashuns de actual modern party professes. Dere is very, real few real liberals waaay down here. Dere is de obligato'y Ivo'y Towa' Dwellers, uh course. Aside fum big ed, dere's small ed. A few in social wo'k. Ya' know? Finally, de remainin' libs is in, hold on t'yo' hats, religion. 'S coo', bro. Who knowed? Hidden deftly bediggin' hoth de layers and layers uh lunatic Fundamentalists in Bama be a busy hive uh do-baaaaders out feedin' de poo' and fightin' racism and generally preachin' against not only de righties but also de greedy and da damn politically honkyfoolish. Lop some boogie. Christianity be complicated, yo. 'S coo', bro. You's chumps only THINK ya' know de deal.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Dude, you've gone completely batshit in your old age. I'm a hippie because I don't want religion in my public policy?!? And Ricky Bobby comments aside, I'm not a religion-basher--and I have Christian friends who'd attest to that. I do, however, balk when people, especially politicians, shove religion in my face. "Free expression thereof" does not mean "legislation of morality," thank you very much, CHUMP.

[(Anonymous)]

Legislation of morality... such as what? Murder? Theft? Fraud? Child abandonment? Isn't the entire legal code a complex system of enforceable morality? Why, yes it is! You've got 'religion' all over your legal code, OMGWTF.

Nobody's shoving religion in your face just because they, along with many others, agree that gay marriage and abortion should be illegal. Those aren't religious views (as in, they do not originate within doctrine) but they are instead views commonly held by religious people (or would you care to provide a biblical source for these would-be laws?) Many non-religious folks also agree with those views.

Note that nobody's any longer attempting to make homosexuality illegal - they are simply protecting the definition of marriage proper. The oppositional forces (that is, you and the hippies, that is, weirdo earth-worshipping paganoid leftists, corksmokers and bitter atheists) - distinct in their minority - wish to assail any position held by anyone who attaches 'Christian' to their self-description as being automatically and inherently screw-loosened based not on any lack merit the claim may have (or upon any superior claim of their own), but on the fact of said person's religion.

So, who's the bigger bigot?

Politicians without religion are the ones who scare me. It's a secular government, but there is no mandate requiring that every government employee and every elected official have no religion-inspired points of view. How free, exactly, is speech if religion is supposed to be kept to oneself? 'Secular' in that context only means that there is no official state religion. That is the absolute end of that provision. No government force can compel you to worship God in any way, or even to believe that God exists. There is on the other hand nothing preventing the law of the nation from resembling the laws of religions.

It's the person who can't stand hearing a religious view that has the problem, not the one speaking. Convert that to jive or stick it in your ass - it won't change the correctness, nay RIGHTEOUSNESS, of the point of view.

;) Hehe. 'Righteousness'. I do enjoy hyperbole.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Hutto, I'm going to end this discussion because I don't enjoy arguing over this kind of thing, and I know you do. I will, however, thank you not to try to characterize how I perceive issues and people when you haven't even known me in practically half our lifetimes. You don't know who I am, you don't know what I think, you don't know what I value, and I'm not about to sit here on the fucking internet and justify myself to you. So leave me to the hippies, the weirdo earth-worshipping paganoid leftists, corksmokers and bitter atheists, and go on about your business elsewhere, mmmkay?

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

There is nothing more disgusting and cowardly than an anonymous troll.

Re: Nope, still can't read it.

[sydelbow.livejournal.com]

THAT WAS HILARIOUS AND THANK YOU FOR IT.