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Aug. 12th, 2007 04:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wickedfleaI just got totally fucking cussed at Barnes and Noble. I was wandering around the religion/spirituality/new age area looking for a book that'd been recommended to me, and I was a bit lost because, well, that ain't much of a familiar part of the store to me. Finally I stopped at one spot and did the twisted bookstore neck maneuver as I tried to find the name Kurtz on a spine. I noticed a angry-hippieish-looking woman down the aisle checking out the astrology books. She kinda looked over at me, walked past, and muttered something foul under her breath.
WTF? I thought. Then I said, as I have a VERY bad habit of doing, "What the fuck'd you call me?" I normally say it faintly enough that nobody can make out what I'm saying, but this time I slipped and used a normal speaking voice. She acted like she didn't hear, but after a few seconds she came BACK to the aisle, walked past, and mumbled, "I cannot BELIEVE the stupid motherfuckers in here . . . fucking cocksucker motherfuckers . . ."
I was flabbergasted. I stood there with my mouth open for a good thirty seconds. Maybe she's got Tourette's Syndrome, I thought. So of course I pulled out my phone and went off in search of her in hopes that I could get some righteous video of the afflicted woman flipping out. I found her at the magazine rack. But she wasn't saying SHIT, just standing there leafing through a Harper's Bazaar. So I ended up just snapping this photo:
Then I figured I'd better get a better picture, as the first one was shot kinda from the back and wouldn't be of much use for identification purposes if the shit went down and the police had to get involved. So I went around to the other end of her aisle, and she looked over at me and started in again: "These motherfucking trashy motherfuckers, I swear to fucking Christ . . ."
Like, again, what in the dogfuck? I was completely freaked out. Then I got really pissed off, and I started walking over to her to ask her if she had beef with me. But something told me I probably shouldn't, as there wasn't much good that could've come out of that situation. That, and I was kind of afraid of her. :\
Who has stuff like this happen to them? Who gets in mumble-curse matches with ugly women in the goddamn bookstore?!? I have a vague notion that the woman took offense to my Yellow Rat Bastard shirt--but could that really be it? Would somebody actually call somebody a filthy trash motherfucker because of such a T-shirt?
WTF? I thought. Then I said, as I have a VERY bad habit of doing, "What the fuck'd you call me?" I normally say it faintly enough that nobody can make out what I'm saying, but this time I slipped and used a normal speaking voice. She acted like she didn't hear, but after a few seconds she came BACK to the aisle, walked past, and mumbled, "I cannot BELIEVE the stupid motherfuckers in here . . . fucking cocksucker motherfuckers . . ."
I was flabbergasted. I stood there with my mouth open for a good thirty seconds. Maybe she's got Tourette's Syndrome, I thought. So of course I pulled out my phone and went off in search of her in hopes that I could get some righteous video of the afflicted woman flipping out. I found her at the magazine rack. But she wasn't saying SHIT, just standing there leafing through a Harper's Bazaar. So I ended up just snapping this photo:
Then I figured I'd better get a better picture, as the first one was shot kinda from the back and wouldn't be of much use for identification purposes if the shit went down and the police had to get involved. So I went around to the other end of her aisle, and she looked over at me and started in again: "These motherfucking trashy motherfuckers, I swear to fucking Christ . . ."
Like, again, what in the dogfuck? I was completely freaked out. Then I got really pissed off, and I started walking over to her to ask her if she had beef with me. But something told me I probably shouldn't, as there wasn't much good that could've come out of that situation. That, and I was kind of afraid of her. :\
Who has stuff like this happen to them? Who gets in mumble-curse matches with ugly women in the goddamn bookstore?!? I have a vague notion that the woman took offense to my Yellow Rat Bastard shirt--but could that really be it? Would somebody actually call somebody a filthy trash motherfucker because of such a T-shirt?
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no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:31 am (UTC)and maybe you should think of a reality show...because this kind of weird sshit doesnt happen much.
I would of slapped-a-ho!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 04:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:17 am (UTC)Ah! I just thought of another. I was walking down the street years ago, and there was some questionable (homeless?) woman walking on the other side. She said (in a strange-sounding voice), "Sir, do you know what time it is?" I ignored her and she said, "Fuck you! Fuck you (something I couldn't make out)" at the top of her lungs.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 01:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 01:47 pm (UTC)And yeah, I have often thought that I do need a show, cuz I swear I'm a freak magnet!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 02:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 02:59 pm (UTC)We should start a matchmaking service. I'll track down the redneck homophobic men with weird hair, and you track down the ugly mumble-cursing hippie women, and we'll set them up on dates where they end up falling off a cliff together at sunset.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 04:14 pm (UTC)pftttttttttttt HAHDASKFASDLJFSDKLAFJ
dude, I fuckin' love you. TONS.
and no, no one needs a throw down in a bookstore with an ugly crazy woman. LOL.
nerd.
:D
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:20 pm (UTC)His cart was filled with old computer and tv parts.
Tin Foil Hat Bridage makes a real life appearance! and DANG I wish I had my camera with me.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 09:06 pm (UTC)You have GOT to start carrying that camera always! You live in NEW YORK, fer cryin' out loud!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 09:11 pm (UTC)I think I'll just buy a new camera, tho...whenever I can afford it. Try to get something nicer so that I actually have fun with photography.
We have to do a roadtrip somewhere. Take pics of the weirdos. Although when we hang out together, the weirdos tend to vacate...isn't that strange?????
no subject
Date: 2007-08-14 02:12 pm (UTC)I can also advise you against deploying any form of sarcastic or sardonic (or one of those other words that mean something similar to whatever it was I did) humor in the presence of uptight folk.
A friend of mine and I went to see a movie and we were the only folks in the joint save for this one guy and his wife. They happened to be one row down and two seats over from the best seats in the place. We took the best seats, and the guy turned around and gave me a nasty sort of 'who farted on my forehead?' kind of look. I jovially remark 'I know. Out of all these empty seats, we had to sit right behind you.' I thought that guy was going to kill me. He got up and leaned over and said 'Fffffuck youuuuu, asssshollllle!! Fuuuuuck you! Fuuuuuuuck you!'
I didn't know if I should kick him in the neck or just STFU and act like it didn't happen. The entire rest of the movie, that guy spent more time looking at me than the screen. The only thing that prevented me from being overly worried was the fact that I was about twice the guy's size, and my friend was armed and equally large.
I think the best way to deal with the world is to purchase a small island, build a fortress, and live within forever with your video games.