(no subject)

[wickedflea]

Heh, that was fun. Some random dude texted the wrong number a little while ago, obviously looking for a bootie call, and got me.

dude: Why you be teasing me?
me: I can't help it, it's my snake hips
dude: Whatever you gonna make me try you.
me: Try me how?
dude: What you think i mean?
me: I AM NOT A WHOREMONGER
dude: What?
me: That's right punk
dude: First of all i'm not a punk and i didnt understand yo your last message
me: But Dewayne...
dude: Whatever
me: DEWAYNE PLEASE
dude: Shut up
me: DEWAYNE PLZ TRY ME OMGZ
dude: What is wrong wit you
me: Snakes all up in it.
dude: You gonna make me hurt you
dude: You gonna make me hurt you
me: Do you really want to hurt me?
dude: I'll only hurt you if you want me to
me: Dewayne you couldn't hurt me if you tried
dude: You don't know what I could do
me: Yes I do. Clyde told me
dude: Whatever!

*at this point, I decided to take a few pages from Vlad*

me: What are your feels at a time you do completely submission to your opponents? What is your stats? What is about your armwrestling?
dude: You like losing me for real
me: What do you turn on the show off your steel rippling muscles and on using the irrestible power of them into a fight for a completely submission your fellow men?
me: What is you flexed biceps sizes and what is your age, Mr "Grapple Muscles?"
dude: Why you being so weird
me: Don't worry for your wife - will find an other nice girl which will to help you in all your life and to soothe the one.
me: May be you will be agitated by just a love; street fight; writing a poems; the thinking?
dude: Shut up and stop playing
me: My cat Lonzie has a white bush
dude: You crazy
me: Well, don't you find that noteworthy? God hell, man, I'm starting to think maybe you texted the wrong number
dude: Who is this?
me: This is Monty. Who is this is?
dude: Seriously who is this?
me: Probably not who you were looking for, Dewayne.
dude: Ok

*several minutes pass*

dude: This isn't will?

*OOPS. It seems I made a false assumption.*

me: He don't know me!
chick: That's not what i asked you
me: Goddam, went off
me: No, it's not will.
chick: Thats all i needed to know sorry for texting your phone
me: Ok lover
chick: I'm not your lover
me: Ok dewayne, whatever you say

Comments

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

Snakes all up in it! Hee. You should have your own comedy albums. Seriously, mang.

[dorkontheloose.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.....its the newfangled version of calling the wrong #......thank goodness for modern inventions!

i made banana muffins......if you wern't so freakin far away i would drop some off for you :(

[starflow.livejournal.com]

"God hell, man, I'm starting to think maybe you texted the wrong number"

I love that you finally had to be the one to give dude a clue. Ha!

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOLOL

I fuckin love you so hard. SO HARD.

:D

snakes all up in it!

[acadiabaird.livejournal.com]

*snort*


omg, I am dying over here.....too damn funny!

[nationofsheep.livejournal.com]

Dude! That is seriously funny.

[ddiva-xo.livejournal.com]

LMAO

[ginamoog.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHA. I am dying right now.

[shlorp.livejournal.com]

Oh my heavens, I just laughed and choked and cried all at once. This is going in my memories thing in LJ.

[davesslave.livejournal.com]

The words "snake hips" are burned forevermore in my brain.

[alicdeni83.livejournal.com]

Oh man when I read "me: Snakes all up in it." I had the loudest laugh ever heard in an office. I'm sure everyone is talking about me now. Thanks.

[rheyamorgaine.livejournal.com]

ow ow ow I'm laughing so hard it huuuuuurts. I needed that.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Yum! I'll have to come get some. :D

[jetjet.livejournal.com]

OMG I love it! hahahahahahahaha

[lastcallforcorn.livejournal.com]

i'm so thrilled to be friends with someone who is clearly a cosmic portal for fucked-up shit like this. i just laughed until there were tears, man, TEARS! and i'm still not over vlad, oh god...