TITTIES LIKE BOOM BOOTIE LIKE POW

We're having the heaviest thunderstorm I think I've ever seen. The freaking thunder woke me up. The sky is constantly lit up with lightning, and the thunder is like -- DAMN. I didn't know anything could be that loud. It's that kind that echoes and echoes and echoes and shakes the windows and really freaks you out. Outside it looks and sounds like some Old Testament shit.

Does anyone remember my subject line from that Eddie Murphy routine? He's talking about how fine some woman is and how great her body is, and he says, "the titties like BOOM, the bootie like POW." I can't find it on the Internet -- all that turns up is rap lyrics -- but trust me on this one, he said it. Anyway, one time Grimmett and I were working in the kitchen at the Bully together, and we were bored, so we decided to write a really bad love poem to one of the waitresses. It was all stuff like "you make me feel like a child laughing in the rain" or whatever -- and then, right in the middle of it, we put the lines:

titties like boom
bootie like pow

Each time we added something to the poem, we'd read the whole thing out loud, and every time we got to those two lines we'd die laughing. We were crying. Waitresses would come through the kitchen on their way to the stockroom or the cooler, and we'd be falling against the wall as we sputtered, "titties like boom, bootie like pow." No wonder those chicks thought we were freaks.

Oh, cool -- the storm has passed over. Man, that was wild! Now I have to try to get back to sleep.

BTW, is it "bootie" or "booty"? Or either? When you're talking about ass, I mean. I guess it's usually "booty," but for this post "bootie" just looked more correct. Sometimes you have to make those judgment calls. Or judgement -- whatever.

(no subject)

That was some seriously crazy weather last night. I'd heard thunder almost that loud before, but only in bursts of one or two thunderclaps -- never one right after the other for over half an hour like that. It sounded like the end of the world. I feel like a rube talking about the weather like this, but that was crazy-go-nuts.

Man, I'll never get anyone to streak in weather like this. Curses -- foiled again.

(no subject)

Heh -- someone at the press just emailed me saying that she'd heard through the grapevine that Fast Times at Ridgemont High is my favorite movie and asking if I had a copy that she could borrow. Good night, next people will be wanting to borrow my Reign in Blood CD.

(no subject)

I'm totally addicted to the food from the Thai Taste stand over on Whitney. It taste good to me. I know that dude thinks, "Yep, chicken-basil-&-fried-rice motherfucker" every time he sees me coming.

(no subject)

I still enjoy Gov't Mule a lot (shaddup, dangerpest), but they miss Woody a lot more than I'd realized. I'm listening to their 7/26/00 show -- recorded about a month before Woody died -- and it slays anything they've done with any of their stand-in bass players. That guy was a total badass -- like Cliff Burton, except he played with a pick and sounded even heavier. Woody could do the heaviest walking bass line imaginable. I wish I'd gotten to see him with the Mule. (Saw him once with the ABB in '94, but his role was a good bit more subdued there.)

Speaking of Gov't Mule, it turns out that they're going to have two guest bassists at the 10/11 Roseland show -- George Porter, Jr., from the Meters and Jason Newsted, formerly of Metallica. Should be interesting. I'll be happy as long as they don't play any post-Justice Metallica, but I'm throwing a brick at Newsted's ass if they bust out "Enter Sandman."

I knew I should have drugged them.

Thirty-seven minutes 'til kickoff and not a single person has signed up for streaking. And I forgot to wear my Jesus Lizard shirt.

(no subject)

The union thing was a total bust. It wasn't just a vote; it was a 60-minute circle jerk that concluded with a 30-minute Voting Procedure led by a Voting Committee that couldn't figure out how to work an empty box. My Uncle Rayboy organizes the Tomlinson family reunion better. He bangs the gavel, then we elect officers (yes, really) in about a minute and a half, pass the hat, say the blessing, and we're ready to eat some goddamn fried chicken. And we don't talk any of that "brothers and sisters" crap like I heard tonight. They don't educate no dummies down at the vo-tech, by dog.

(no subject)

I have a question. This picture from this espn.com story shows Shaquille O'Neal with hair. When did he ever have hair?