(no subject)

At work I alternate between times when I feel like I'm on top of things followed by times when I feel like -- well, you know that feeling you get when you're walking through the grocery store and you step on a wet spot and you almost fall and bust your ass, but not quite, but for a split-second you don't know whether you're going to fall and you've got your arms out to the side and you have this terrifed look on your face and sometimes some slobber actually comes out of your mouth and flies into the seedless grapes? Yeah, that. It's like that this morning. It was bound to happen after I was feeling so dominant last week. Ah well, at least it's Friday.

(no subject)

Did y'all see the footage of this guy and his son wailing on the Royals' first-base coach last night? It was bizarre. And it may have happened in Chicago, but I'd bet money that those suckers are from southwest Virginia -- probably Pulaski or Wytheville. Just look at that Ozzy-wanna-be tattoo on dude's chest. One of the craziest things about the whole scene was that the first-base umpire just stood there while Buford and Mortimer tried to whoop ass. Honestly, however, I didn't think that it looked like they were doing much damage. They were expending a lot of energy, but they're so skinny that their punches didn't seem to pack much wallop.

The sports world just gets curiouser and curiouser. Now they've found Bison Dele's brother in a coma. Remember the good old days when normal stuff happened like boxers' ears getting chomped off? Yeah.

(no subject)

I walked through marketing a minute ago and stopped by Dianne's desk. She was on the phone with her friend, so naturally she handed me the phone and told me to say hello to Shannon. (I've never met Shannon.) I said hello and Shannon asked me how my Honkey Donkey was. Such a reputation I have!

(no subject)

Somebody go identify my movie quotation (the one with the "I feel like Chuck Norris" line) so I can win the prize already.

call me Buttafuoco

After reading this post, I think I'm in love with a 17-year-old French girl. I'm going to jail, man.

(no subject)

Very common but quite weird word that's freaking me out tonight: any. Try to define it. Go ahead, I dare ya.