I've got you right where I want you

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I should have KNOWN this would happen! That guy's a freak! I LOVE that guy, but he's a freak! I'm crushed. That stupid pervert! That's what the guy was doing in his office all the time in Beetlejuice! Two of my favorite movies--Bueller and Beetlejuice--and I'll never be able to watch them again without--that FREAK! Just look at that PICTURE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH!

(p.s. -- I know it's not funny. This is what I'm saying.)

got it!

SOY BOMB

This is a real longshot, but does anyone have on tape the footage from the Grammys that time that the shirtless dude with "SOY BOMB" written in big letters across his torso stormed the stage and gyrated like a fool as Bob Dylan played? It would be an extra added bonus if you had the footage of Ol' Dirty Bastard saying all that stuff about "Wu-Tang is for the children!"--but I'll take anything I can get.

And what about the time that Slash came up to the podium all drunk and cussing like crazy? I never did see that, but it sounded awesome!

I like the term "all drunk." It reminds me of the time that I was in a graduate seminar with this really country black girl. Really country black people are funny. PLEASE don't take that the wrong way--I like this girl, and I'm not making fun of her. (And besides, I have a lot of country family. I'm probably country to most folks people.) She was intelligent and funny, but she just talked really funny--very slowly and with a heavy drawl, so that if you didn't know her you'd probably think she was slow. ANYWAY, we were talking about a Sam Shepard play--The Tooth of Crime, maybe? Good play, but I'm not sure of the name. It was one of the ones in the Seven Plays anthology. ANYWAY, there's this character who's a really sleazy preacher. This girl was leading the night's discussion on the Shepard plays, and she was discussing the character like so: "He just came off like a typical clergyman to me: comin' in all drunk, cussin' at everybody" and she went on and on about what dastardly liars most clergymen are. The rest of the class was sitting there gaping and looking at her like she was possessed, and I was literally almost falling out of my chair with laughter. I was DYING. And it was one of those things where everything died down after a minute or so, but I could NOT stop laughing. I was CRYING. I seriously thought I was going to have to leave.

(no subject)

My endless typos and outright errors continue. I always notice them when I read over my stuff, but I never used to need to do that. I think I'm drain bamaged.

(no subject)

How much do those of you who work full-time usually have taken out of your checks for federal taxes, and do you usually get money back? Those of you who don't make very much, like me, I mean. This is the first full year that I've worked full-time at one job that paid somewhat decently (in comparison to on-campus jobs and shitty restaurant jobs, I mean--I still don't make jack.) I guess my freelance stuff will throw things off a bit, since there's nothing held out of that. But I think I declared two exemptions or whatever you call them, one more than my worksheet told me to, so that more is held out of my check than is probably necessary. I didn't want to end up owing money at the end of the year. It's like ten percent of my check (just feds, that is, not state or Social Security).

I'm tired of having the bastards take all my money. I'm gonna change my name to G. Gordon Motherfucking Liddy and storm Congress in the name of dog-fearing Republicans everywhere.

Or not. Yeah.

(no subject)

I was just thinking--the subjects of almost all my icons have fucked-up teeth. Even me in the Oscar shirt. I'd been kicked in the mouth by a horse. Seriously. OK, it was a swingset horse, but it knocked my teefies right out.

(no subject)

What's wrong with people?