stupid job/union shit

God fucking damn. We're going on strike starting March 1. So I hear from the managerial/professional folks around the press, anyway. (I'm a clerical/technical type, which I shouldn't be, but that's another story.) They got an email from the university administration's labor guy saying that the union had served notice of the strike. But none of the people who will actually be striking have been officially notified by the union. Typical. I'm so fucking pissed off about this I can't see straight. I don't know if it's this way university-wide (I kinda doubt it), but here's how it is at the press: The union doesn't tell us shit. We're so detached from the rest of the university that apparently they feel it's OK to keep us in the dark. And our in-house steward (union rep) . . . I haven't even fucking SEEN her ass since before Christmas! I don't even know if she still works here! And when I did see her I never saw her do anything union-wise except occasionally bring around some sort of petition and expect me to sign it and check off the "I WILL BE ARRESTED" box. We certainly haven't had any meetings or anything. I'm seriously considering not participating in this strike. I've talked to a couple of the acquisitions editorial assistants, and they feel the same way I do. I can't afford to lose the pay, and I certainly can't afford to let the work stack up any higher on my desk. I don't know what the rest of the C&Ts across the university do, but I have goddamn work to do, and it's not just processing forms--it's ongoing projects that I can't just hand off to anyone else. COCKSUCKIN'DOGFUCKIN'ASSRAPIN'STUPIDMOTHERFUCKER.

Strike, my ass. FUCK THAT.

more Tyson

BASTARDS! The mass media have ganked my shit once again. I came up with the idea of a Mike Tyson reality show months ago! But I bet this show is gonna be lame. It sounds like it's going to focus on training and all that cal. I want to see him strangling his servants, getting pissed off in traffic, playing miniature golf, and getting drunk and weepy late at night and calling old friends from prison. Come to think of it, though, there might be some training stuff that would be cool. Like remember that scene where Rocky is in the meat freezer, pummeling sides of beef? Mike could do that. Maybe he'd get so excited that he'd bite a big chunk out of the raw meat. And wasn't there another scene where Rocky was chasing chickens around? America would love to see Mike do that, especially if he--well, you know, got so excited that he snatched up some chickens and bit their heads off. But just you watch--now that I've said all this, the people putting together this show will readjust their focus and steal these ideas too. I'm tired of all these sucker MCs bitin' my rhymes.

And I know I've said this before, but I still think this picture is hilarious, especially if you tell yourself while you're looking at it that Mike is dancing. Do it now. DO IT!

(no subject)

I keep wavering between "Fuck that, I ain't striking" and "Well, shit--maybe it would be easiest just to do it." It's supposedly only for a week (though I've heard talk that they're planning on striking for the week before spring break, coming back to work for those two weeks (yes, a two-week spring break, can you believe that shit?) and then going back out if necessary).

If I do strike, though, I don't plan on doing any actual picketing. Well, maybe--I might go for a couple of hours just so I can wave a sign emblazoned with my favorite slogan: SHAFT THE OPPOSITION. This phrase dates back to my junior year in high school, when my homies and I would always do weird shit during the pep rallies. (We actually used to take time out of the day to have pep rallies. That seems so bizarre to me now. Come to think of it, it seemed pretty bizarre at the time.) Anyway, in our sophomore year, my friends and I would spray-paint bedsheets with weird slogans, like "Eddie 'The Rockin' Jailbird' Sanchez RULES," and wave them in the stands or hang them from the gym rafters. (Eddie, as I may have mentioned, was the fictional classmate we made up to torment school administrators.) By our junior year, however, we moved on from strictly focusing on Eddie to just being weird. For instance, one of our flags read simply "NOT." (We got this from the band Anthrax, who used to put the word "NOT" on all their shirts and stuff--way before Wayne's World.) Anyway, another one of our flags read "SHAFT THE OPPOSITION." I was really proud of that one (I thought of it all by myself), but somehow it never caught on with the masses. Stupid idiot moron jerks.

But our most remembered pep-rally behavior was our incessant headbanging. Whenever the band launched into a fight song or the alma mater, we would start our synchronized headbanging routine. And it wasn't a simple head-bobbing thing--it was serious headbanging worthy of a Slayer concert. I've often wondered how much brain damage we inflicted on ourselves in those days.

So yeah--people didn't really know what to make of me and my crew back in the late '80s at Starkville High. Imagine that.