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What up, fools?

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No one saw me just now as I was retardedly stabbing at the inside of my shoe with a pair of scissors, but I felt like a goon all the same. (I had to fix a rogue piece of metal that was jabbing me in the foot. That's what I get for wearing these stupid sandals.)

Actually, repairing my shoe is about the best thing I've accomplished today. I want to be outside enjoying the weather instead of being up in this mug. Who's down for blowing off early and going bowling or hiking or streaking or somesing?

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Now is the time on Sprockets when we post heart-touching song lyrics. The sentiment just gets me right *there*, you know what I mean?

"Sargent D and the S.O.D."

Ruthless and vicious he'll stomp on your face
Deadly, malicious, stay out of his space
He'll rip your eyes out, don't look the wrong way
And once you meet him, there's no time to pray
He'll rip your heart out, make you eat your own lips
Then crack your elbows, and crush fingertips

He'll make you wish that you didn't exist,
Cause Sargent "D" is coming, and you're on his list

Don't cut the line, cause he'll cut off your legs
Don't take your time or you'll spend time with the dead
Don't try to trick him, he'll fill you with lead
Don't beg for mercy, he'll piss on your head
He'll kill your sister, then mail back the tits
He'll beat you senseless, then break out the whips

He'll make you wish that you didn't exist,
Cause Sargent "D" is coming, and you're on his list

He'll put gas on your kids, then throw them a match
He'll back the car over grandma, then dissect her cat
With his Stormtroopers of Death, he'll come to your town
Their Uzis rip through flesh, then it's time to chow down
Their cause is justified, their reason is clear
The word revenge is all that they hear

He'll make you wish that you didn't exist,
Cause Sargent "D" is coming, and you're on his list

(no subject)

Weird. An LJ friend was posting this morning about having found the LJ of an old friend from high school whom she didn't talk to anymore. And she mentioned with horror that the girl writes Hanson fanfic. I posted a comment back to her saying that I hoped to god that the Hanson brothers weren't fucking each other in that fanfic, blase blase. My friend linked me to the girl's site, and I went and clicked around for less than a minute. Couple of hours later, I get this e-mail from the fanfic girl:

To: cbh8@ra.msstate.edu, chris@chrisheller.net
Subject: You signed my guestbook
Date: Mon, 09 May 2005 13:54:31 -0400

I just wanted to say thanks for the heads-up. A***** (or A*******,
however the hell she's spelling her name at the moment) and I used to be
friends WAY back when. I don't even remember why we stopped being friends. I
haven't talked to her in YEARS. Anyway, thanks again for the warning.

If you don't want to answer, I understand, but could I ask what she
said? Is she encouraging people to bash me in my guestbook or something? Or
was it a brief "look at this, this is stupid" kind of thing?

Thanks again.

~Shawna~

WTF? I ain't never signed that ho's guestbook. I didn't even look at it. So how did she get not only my current e-mail address, but also my college one that expired in 2001?!? I'm vexed. I wonder what kind of response I'll get to the reply I sent her:

Say what? I haven't signed anyone's guestbook in
years, and I have no idea who you are or what you're
talking about. Would you mind telling me who you are
and how you got two e-mail addresses for me, including
my college one that expired four years ago? If you
molest me further, whore, you shall feel the sting of
the lash across your pitiful shoulders, and I'll be
forced to unleash my squad of attack lawyers on you.

And if you're one of those Internest stalkers who
enjoys stalking young boys for their huge peckers,
I'll thank you to leave mine alone. It would only end
in tears anyway.

When did I start getting involved in LJ drama? And exactly when did I become a girl?!? I'll bet anything that this chick ends up being affiliated with Jammie the Clown and the Whoremonger.

edit: Crud, she did a pretty good job in her response. She said that someone had left a comment in her guestbook saying that my friend was stalking her, and he included a link (for some inexplicable reason) to my LJ. And apparently it's been so goddamn long since I updated my web site that my old address is still on there! Oops. :) Anyway, I apologized for calling her a whore. I blame it all on A Confederacy of Dunces.

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There's nothing to make you realize that you should stop buying books and start making the way through your backlog like buying a new paperback and getting home only to realize that you already have an unread cloth edition of the same book that you bought at the same store not even a year ago.