(no subject)

Guess what I hate.

Since you can't guess, I will tell you: I hate cool-guy handshakes. I meet some dude and he tries to give me that grasp, slap, flip, smell your finger stuff. Listen, kid, I'm not in your secret club, I don't know the password to the treehouse, and I certainly can't follow the intricacies of your peculiar handshake. Shake it like a man and be done with it, Sparky.

Yeah.

(no subject)

This is what I did in outpatient rehab tonight.



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Don't ask me; I don't know. Would you believe I had to EXPLAIN that shit?

explanation copied from IM:

frackinfrickin: I said that I picked things that caught my eye
frackinfrickin: and that the random and the grotesque always caught my eye
frackinfrickin: so I picked the chicken wrestler mask cuz it freaked me out and was scary
frackinfrickin: and the melancholy caveman cuz I felt like that sometimes
frackinfrickin: the rednecks in the pickup cuz it reminded me of home
frackinfrickin: the tin woodman and the jew cuz I liked the dynamic of their staredown
frackinfrickin: the snake cuz it's snakes all up in it
frackinfrickin: bert and ernie as the yin and yang--the duality of human experience
frackinfrickin: cuz ernie is wholly good and bert is unspeakably evil
frackinfrickin: marion barry cuz he's america's most famous crackhead
frackinfrickin: homegirl with the pink hair cuz her breastises all hangin' out
frackinfrickin: the fat guy getting his belly rubbed cuz who doesn't like getting his belly rubbed?
frackinfrickin: the guy with the barbecue gone all to shit cuz it all goes to shit for everyone from time to time
frackinfrickin: and the woman puking up lace because it also freaked me out, and that's art
frackinfrickin: everyone else had all this stuff relating to their drug experiences or whatever, and I'm there talking about bert and ernie

I couldn't help it! They sat us down with paste, magazines, and scissors and told us to go to it. Go to WHAT, they didn't say, so that's what I came up with.