(no subject)

[wickedflea]

Guess what I hate.

Since you can't guess, I will tell you: I hate cool-guy handshakes. I meet some dude and he tries to give me that grasp, slap, flip, smell your finger stuff. Listen, kid, I'm not in your secret club, I don't know the password to the treehouse, and I certainly can't follow the intricacies of your peculiar handshake. Shake it like a man and be done with it, Sparky.

Yeah.

Comments

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

"I meet some dude and he tries to give me that grasp, slap, flip, smell your finger stuff."

smell your finger.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if those guys are trying to molest me. Fucking perverts.

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

I bet they are!
hahahaha!


for some reason the mental image i have is just too funny...

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I keep giving people crazy mental images lately. Last night it was me being flattened to death in some woman's ample bosom.

[lulu-girl.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!!



HAHAHAHAHAH!

cut it out. you're making me laugh too hard.

[lemmons.livejournal.com]

Ample doesn't even do that particular bosom justice. No words come to mind in fact :X

Double dog dare ya since you wussed on the regular dare.

huh. "sparky."

[lastcallforcorn.livejournal.com]

i needed a laugh...

Re: huh. "sparky."

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Glad to oblige. :)

[lastcallforcorn.livejournal.com]

what was the password to your treehouse?

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

This is how lazy we were: we didn't build our own treehouses; we raided other people's! The best one we ever took over had cabinets and all kinds of stuff. It was fun until we got busted.

[lastcallforcorn.livejournal.com]

ooh, so you were a pirate! sexay!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Ahar, matey!

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

My friends and I used to do that shit in high school just to be silly. Hee.

Password to the treehouse? Have you been hanging out with the Keebler elves again? ;)

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

No way--those cats are way too cool for me. They kicked me to the curb without so much as a vanilla wafer. :\

[filthymonkey.livejournal.com]

I have on several occasions pulled my hand back when people try to do that shit. Some dude got so offended I though I was going to have to fight him. Fuck that shit.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I want to start slapping the piss out of people when they do that. "What?! That's how we roll in my neighborhood! Aren't you down?"

[filthymonkey.livejournal.com]

Now i'm just angry for no reason!

:)

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

When someone tries that I calmly take their hand and bite it, hard.

I don't care where their hand has been; there are far more germs in the human mouth. Maybe their hand will fall off and they won't be able to go at anyone else with the hand jive.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Word to that. Serves the little hipsters right.

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Only Mr. Clinton. :)

shake hands man

[karaforsale.livejournal.com]

I can't stand limp-wristed hand shakes. It's such a complete turnoff; kind of gross even. Give me a weak hand shake and you do not exist in my world.

Re: shake hands man

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Ugggggggh, I hate that too. They just lay their hand in yours like a wet noodle. YUCK!

Observations

[dangerpest.livejournal.com]

Shorter guys tend to squeeze my hand tightly when we meet, I think it's a napoleonic complex. I hate that even more than cool guy handshakes. It's like: "OK, I get it! you may be short but you're strong!... now hold still so I can use your head to lean on"
I also hate when people with long finger shake my hand and there middle finger brushes against my wrist, like they're looking for a pulse...
ewww.