he tried to jack me, but homie got shot
Oct. 22nd, 2002 04:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wickedfleaI'm going to get cold shot in the car one of these days, I swear it. And whoever does it will have a clean shot at me because of this nutty habit I've developed of hanging my head out the window to yell at people in traffic. Today at lunch someone was blocking the intersection, and there I was craning my neck out the window like a Great Dane and screaming "Good job, assneck!!!" at the poor, pathetic woman. People in this town are terrible about blocking the intersection, and they don't give a damn. They'll sit there right underneath a red light while you sit there flipping them off as you have the green light but are completely unable to move because there's a fucking Suburban in your way, and they'll look at you like they cannot possibly imagine why you're upset.
I think I'm going to take up my old habit of pelting people with tennis balls again. Normally I prey upon people who've done nothing to me, but now I'm going to do it as a strictly retaliatory measure. This started back in probably 1989 or so, when my friends and I would occasionally cruise around with tennis balls and nail people walking down the sidewalk. It's best, of course, to have someone else driving when you fling your balls, so that you can sit on the ledge of the window with your entire upper body hanging out. This way you can get maximum mustard on the throw. That is, if you're right-handed like me. I've often wished that I were left-handed so that I could zing people from the driver's side without looking like a girly man. You can also perform an underhanded shovel pass with your right hand and pitch the ball out the passenger's window, but you sacrifice a lot of velocity and accuracy.
The best throw I ever got off with my left hand was several years ago when I was driving down Russell Street in Starkville in my pickup truck, right around the abandoned creamery building. I saw some joker coming the opposite way on a bicycle, so I grabbed a tennis ball and threw a perfect, surprisingly fast, bounce pass across the four-lane road and hit that bastard right in the chest. It was truly Beautiful. I'll bet I couldn't do that again if I tried for a hundred years. I mean, it would have been one thing to get him on the fly, but a bounce pass? That's a 9.8 on the difficulty scale. And one of the best things about it (next to the satisfying "ping" from the ball hitting the pavement) was looking in my rear-view mirror and seeing that guy stopped on the side of the road, looking back toward my truck, and obviously thinking "What the FUCK?!?" Beautiful, I tell you.
I think I'll listen to Cypress Hill again tonight, 'cuz that's just the O.G. kinda thug-ass criminal I am.
I think I'm going to take up my old habit of pelting people with tennis balls again. Normally I prey upon people who've done nothing to me, but now I'm going to do it as a strictly retaliatory measure. This started back in probably 1989 or so, when my friends and I would occasionally cruise around with tennis balls and nail people walking down the sidewalk. It's best, of course, to have someone else driving when you fling your balls, so that you can sit on the ledge of the window with your entire upper body hanging out. This way you can get maximum mustard on the throw. That is, if you're right-handed like me. I've often wished that I were left-handed so that I could zing people from the driver's side without looking like a girly man. You can also perform an underhanded shovel pass with your right hand and pitch the ball out the passenger's window, but you sacrifice a lot of velocity and accuracy.
The best throw I ever got off with my left hand was several years ago when I was driving down Russell Street in Starkville in my pickup truck, right around the abandoned creamery building. I saw some joker coming the opposite way on a bicycle, so I grabbed a tennis ball and threw a perfect, surprisingly fast, bounce pass across the four-lane road and hit that bastard right in the chest. It was truly Beautiful. I'll bet I couldn't do that again if I tried for a hundred years. I mean, it would have been one thing to get him on the fly, but a bounce pass? That's a 9.8 on the difficulty scale. And one of the best things about it (next to the satisfying "ping" from the ball hitting the pavement) was looking in my rear-view mirror and seeing that guy stopped on the side of the road, looking back toward my truck, and obviously thinking "What the FUCK?!?" Beautiful, I tell you.
I think I'll listen to Cypress Hill again tonight, 'cuz that's just the O.G. kinda thug-ass criminal I am.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Hahaha!
Date: 2002-10-22 03:26 pm (UTC)Re: Hahaha!
Date: 2002-10-22 04:02 pm (UTC)Re: Hahaha!
Date: 2002-10-22 05:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-22 04:16 pm (UTC)Today I tried to throw a football at my friend on the team, but he ran behind our backup QB. I threw it anyway, and our QB moved his head to the right to dodge it and it hit my friend in the face. Beautiful, especially considering I can't throw for my life!
no subject
Date: 2002-10-22 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-22 05:22 pm (UTC)