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[personal profile] wickedflea
There was a dude who went to my high school during my senior year who was named Charlie Brown. And yes, we gave him all the "blockhead" and "good grief" jokes. He walked around with his chest pumped up like someone had just jammed a picnic table up his ass, and we gave him shit about that too. Nobody knew where he had come from or anything about his parents, so given that and the fact that he looked about 30 and talked like a drill sergeant, everyone naturally assumed he was a narc. He never busted anybody, though, so maybe he was just a weird cat. But anyway, my friends and I didn't like him, so naturally we brought a bottle of white shoe polish to school one day and wrote "THE HUMAN HARD-ON" on his windshield. His stupid girlfriend cleaned it off before he had a chance to see it, though.

We were RUDE, man. We had nicknames for everyone. In fact, the same day we painted a couple of other windshields with their owners' nicknames. There was a lunchroom lady who we always called Man. Every time we went through her line, we'd say, "Thanks . . . MAN." Got hers. We had a sort-of-friend who hung out with us who had really wild, frizzy hair, so we called him Wolfman. Got his.

Man, there were a lot of nicknames. Bullet-head, Horse, Metal Whore, The Girl Who Doesn't Know Where She Is, Leatherface, Laughing Buddha, Stymie, Without Worth, Dog Dick, Oaf, Cooter, The Perverted Midget, Boing, Sproing, Shemp, Crumplestilskin, Bruce Dickinson, Bearded Lady, High Tide Mickey/Fool, Grimmett/.22/Greg "The Hammer" Valentine/Slimer, Doublebutt, Hormone, Sprout, Corn Flake, Scales, Sliced, Thang, Fool Times Two, Tits on a Stick, Googlysnag, Monogram, Coathead, Old Dirt, Sleeve, Elsie, Hicknerd, Lizzie Borden . . . and those are just the ones I can think of just off the top of my head. I could probably come up with a hundred more if I had my yearbook. And yes, I'm aware that I'm going to hell for some of these.

Date: 2003-01-03 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mipplet.livejournal.com
"Tits on a Stick?"

Re:

Date: 2003-01-03 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Damn, I debated about including that name. I had nothing to do with that one. :)

Re:

Date: 2003-01-03 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
That one was all me.

Date: 2003-01-03 07:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] electrcspacegrl.livejournal.com
Was Tits on a Stick your nickname in highschool?

Re:

Date: 2003-01-03 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Fuck, I had a feeling that could be taken wrong.

Date: 2003-01-03 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
*slinks off in shame*

Date: 2003-01-03 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangerpest.livejournal.com
Favorite nicknames from my childhood of torturing people:
FLOOD.
Birdy (aka birdnest).
Neverlast.
ELI.
UNI.
LAME (aka liam).
lamont,malont.
broomface.
cruisin' bruce.

none of them beat "tits on a stick" though.

-p

Date: 2003-01-03 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
I like "broomface." I think I used to be in a band with that dude.

Date: 2003-01-03 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangerpest.livejournal.com
broomface isn't a musician, maaaaan...

:]
-p

Date: 2003-01-04 12:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Tell me about it--that dude couldn't play for shit. :)

Date: 2003-01-03 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buscemi.livejournal.com
That reminds me of the time this old guy on the Simpsons got out his sax case. There was an umbrella inside.

"You mean I've been playing an umbrella all these years? Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"We thought it was funny!"

Date: 2003-01-03 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buscemi.livejournal.com
Those nicknames are hilarious. Maybe I've said this before, but Coathead sounds like a Fat Albert character.

Date: 2003-01-04 12:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Haha, totally. I'll bet there's a lost episode somewhere with him in it.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2003-01-04 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Those are great too! I had forgotten all about it, but we had a Brillohead too! I think it was an alternate name for The Boy Who Got Bit in the Head by a Dog.

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