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Nov. 1st, 2001 10:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wickedfleaWhen I was 17 and 18, I worked at Burger King with a guy named Lonzie (not to be confused with Bonzi). Lonzie was a very special young man; he could kick the ceiling. From a dead stop, he could suddenly spring into this jump that would culminate with his foot coming mere inches from the ceiling tiles. He claimed he didn't want to actually hit the ceiling because he didn't want to put a hole in it. Lonzie would sidle up to me real surreptitious-like and ask in this deep voice, "You wanna see me kick the ceiling?"
"Well, hell yeah," I'd answer.
"ONE DOLLAR!" he'd yell.
I don't remember ever actually giving him the dollar, but I should have, because it was truly a spectacle to behold. One night, Lonzie actually hit the ceiling, and the tile flew up several inches before coming back to rest safely in its usual position. Lonzie immediately got a scared look on his face, then calmed down when he realized that everything was cool and he wasn't going to get fired for damaging the ceiling. Then he puffed up like a weightlifter and got up in my face, saying "You didn't think I could really do it, did you?"
Another funny thing about this is that Lonzie developed a large, very noticeable hole in the crotch of his pants from kicking the ceiling all the time. Well, that and the MC Hammer moves he used to practice in the kitchen. I'm sure customers used to see those long threads coming from the hole and wonder what the hell Lonzie's problem was.
"Well, hell yeah," I'd answer.
"ONE DOLLAR!" he'd yell.
I don't remember ever actually giving him the dollar, but I should have, because it was truly a spectacle to behold. One night, Lonzie actually hit the ceiling, and the tile flew up several inches before coming back to rest safely in its usual position. Lonzie immediately got a scared look on his face, then calmed down when he realized that everything was cool and he wasn't going to get fired for damaging the ceiling. Then he puffed up like a weightlifter and got up in my face, saying "You didn't think I could really do it, did you?"
Another funny thing about this is that Lonzie developed a large, very noticeable hole in the crotch of his pants from kicking the ceiling all the time. Well, that and the MC Hammer moves he used to practice in the kitchen. I'm sure customers used to see those long threads coming from the hole and wonder what the hell Lonzie's problem was.
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Date: 2001-11-02 05:37 am (UTC)This guy matt would do anything to make our crabapple boss laugh.
one time he dry humped a giant gumball machine in the dining room.
the boss did not laugh. he fired him. The moral of this story is that it does not matter what you did when you worked in a lowly food service position, as long as you dont STAY in a lowly food service position.
;]
-p
Lonzie.
Date: 2001-11-02 09:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-09 10:22 pm (UTC)