(no subject)

[wickedflea]

I was driving down Elm Street at lunch and stopped for the light in front of the courthouse. On the front steps was a girl wearing vintage 1973 sunglasses and a Florence Hendersonesque scarf over her head. And for the minute or so I was stopped there, she kept doing little dance moves--sort of a Steven Tyler-style shimmy. And every few seconds she'd stop and sort of shuffle her feet and look around to see if anyone was watching. Then she'd start back up again. When the light turned green, I yelled, "Work it!!!" She kinda looked at the ground a little and smiled. Hehe, people are funny.

Later I went out to feed the parking meter and sat in the car for a minute to look for something I'd left. This morning, for some reason I'd taken down my fuzzy dice, so I put them back and adjusted them for maximum grace and pizzazz. (sp?!) And sure enough, right then some woman walked by and looked at me askance. Maniac. I'll bet her name was Muffy.

Funny story. My mom's fellow teacher and good friend Ron was sitting with her in the cafeteria years ago and telling a story about someone. Ron described the person as having "grace and pizzazz." But my mom misheard him and kept incredulously repeating what she thought he'd said.

"GREASE up his ass?"

"No, GRACE and PIZZAZZ."

"GREASE up his ass?"

"GRACE and PIZZAZZ."

And that went on for quite a while. I don't how he ever got her to realize what he was really saying. I suspect that Southern accents probably had a lot to do with the whole thing.

-------------------

Best porn spam name of the day: Latina Purtlebaugh. Beautiful name, but I just wish Ms. Purtlebaugh wouldn't be quite so forward in asking me to visit her site with pictures of her sister licking the family dogballs. It's kind of off-putting, you know?

Comments

HA!!!

[mipplet.livejournal.com]

"Grease up his ass!" I love it!

"GREASE up his ass?"

[acadiabaird.livejournal.com]

omg. i am totally losing it.

[saintclaire.livejournal.com]

You're Mom sounds like a funny lady. :)

Re:

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

She is, and she and Ron were just hilarious together. He was this big, roly-poly sweetheart who worked with her for years, and they were always such good friends and got along so well. When she moved to Va., he would go visit, and it was just really nice. He had a lot of health problems, though, and he died probably about five years ago. He was a cool cat, and we miss him!

Anyway, but yeah, Mom's a fun one too. She's my homie. :)

[saintclaire.livejournal.com]

I feel the same way about my Mom until she starts tossing out phrases like "Man, thats the bomb" - I swear to god, I lose a year of my life everytime she starts a sentence off with "Man".


Man.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Haha! "Man" is where mine draws the line. I'm prone to calling everyone "man," even my female friends, and even Mom. But she always tells me not to call her "man." :) Like here. (That was "dude," but same difference.)

[saintclaire.livejournal.com]

HA! Alyssa and I just had pretty much the same conversation. She's taken to calling me "dude".

Im hard on my Mom, but sheesh. WE (my sisters and I) dont even use "slang" in everyday conversation, she feels the need too. It makes for lots of "Car Talk" after dropping her off at home....

Car Talk = Gossiping about someone in the car after leaving an event/function/family gathering from hell.

Ya know.

Re:

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Haha, car talk--yeah, we're all guilty of that. :)

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

Is that like metal up your ass?

Re:

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Right, yeah, I used to have that shirt! :)

[zoe.livejournal.com]

I am surprised you didn't break out the fig newtons on the dancing queen.