wickedflea | (no subject)

You ever have those dreams where you're back in high school? You know, like they discovered you never took health class or something, so you have to go back. And you feel really dumb because you're so goddamn old, and you keep hoping that none of your old teachers will spot you and ask what you're doing back. And you're naked. Wait, that's a different one, really. I know you've all had the naked-in-school dream.

I've been back in my old high school probably four or five times since I graduated back in 1927. A couple of times to pick up transcripts; once to visit the lovely Ms. Warren, the fox who was my English teacher in the 10th grade; and once with the Vile Fiend to run through the halls and wave a "Sanchez Lives" flag while wearing boxer shorts, trenchcoats, and British Knights footgear. Oh yeah, and once to show around a Hungarian kid who was staying w/ my stepdad for the semester. That was weird because it was like ten years after I'd graduated and there were people teaching there who were STUDENTS at the same time I was.

I'm serious about that Sanchez thing, by the way. That would have been really hard to explain if we'd gotten arrested. Hell, it's kinda hard to explain now, so I won't try.

Oh yeah, anyway, I had sort of a back-in-high-school dream last night, but not really. It was some kind of school, but it wasn't my high school, and I think it was supposed to be more like college--except you had homeroom, and all the classes were in one building. And I think I'd been skipping class all semester and was only showing up to take some exam. But even though it wasn't Starkville High, there were a lot of people who I went to school with there. I think I had to ask Todd Jacobson directions to my classroom. The weirdest thing was that I was taking three Heinekens with me, and I didn't give a shit who saw them. But it was bad because I had already opened them and they were spilling all over the place because I insisted on carrying them in one hand. (Didja ever try to go up stairs while trying to hold onto three open Heineken bottles in one hand? Give it a try sometime; it ain't easy.)

So I went in the restroom to wash the beer off my hands, and there was some kind of weird dick play going on. I think Mike Hurt was in there showing everyone his wangdoodle. So naturally I got the hell out.

It was about that time that I woke up and went to the bathroom. And somehow I picked up with the same dream, which never happens to me. Sometimes I'll wake up from a cool dream and try to go back to it, but it never works. But now I get this stupid dream and can't get rid of it. In fact, I later woke up again, went back to sleep, and started back in on it! I don't remember much else of it, but I do know that I put on some kind of play (probably because I'd just watched Rushmore) and then went out on the campus grounds to smoke pot with my co-workers--you know, my CURRENT co-workers. It was quite weird seeing my boss roll up a hogleg and start passing it around. But I soon got way too high, and all of a sudden I realized that everyone was gone, I'd lost my wallet, and I had not the slightest idea how to get home. So I started jumping in random people's cars and riding in the back seat just to see where they'd go. But they never went the right direction, and I just kept getting more and more lost. And the weird thing was that the drivers never noticed I was in the car until I asked them to let me out. And they were always like, "whatever, dude."

Oh yeah, and at the school the vice-principal was so impressed with me that he gave me the keys to the school and told me to come around anytime. I think he had respect for the way I just waltzed in with those beers like it was nobody's fuckin' business.

Um, that's all. Did anyone read all this?