(no subject)

[wickedflea]

I never know what to write on condolences cards, and I always get them after several people have already signed and taken all the good cliches. "Sorry to hear of your loss," "My thoughts are with you," etc.

Gah. Someone's mother dies and here I am whining about having to sign the card. What an asshole. But forget that--what do I write?

Comments

[cierrablue.livejournal.com]

Uh, you could put a positive spin on it. You could write, "Hey, now you can go outside without a coat on and no one will yell at you. Congrats!" Or, "Your mom is gone, it's a bummer, but now you can eat icecream for dinner." Okay, that was poor taste, no pun intended.

How about, "I will light a candle for you." Too maudlin? How about...

"I can't imagine how hard this must be. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you." That might work better.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Good thoughts all, though I think I'll go with something more like the last one than the first two. =)

[cierrablue.livejournal.com]

I figured as much. ;)

[fls.livejournal.com]

How about what you feel?

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Hmmm--it's so crazy it just might work.

[ugatraci.livejournal.com]

I always like something along the lines of: "Even though nothing I can say or do will make this any better for you, I'm still here if you need anything at all, so don't hesitate to ask."

I always feel silly saying the usual condolence type stuff. It all seems useless to me. Nothing you can say is going to help, and they know that, and you know that.

Saying the above basically acknowledges the fact that you're aware saying "I'm sorry for your loss, blah blah" does jack shit to make them feel better, but lets them know if they do need anything/someone to talk to, etc. that you'll be there in a flash.

But that's just me.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Thanks, that's a good perspective on it. My take is pretty much the same--that you can't really say anything that's going to help, but you still want to convey that you care.

[goatsupreme.livejournal.com]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'd say right about now,
It sure sucks to be you

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Poems are so fucking gay.

[mipplet.livejournal.com]

I always have the same problem. Usually I write the same stupid thing on every card.

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

What I usually say in a condolence card is something along the line of:
"I am thinking of you during your time of loss
Please take good care of yourself"

That is a heavy thing, mother loss. Hope your workmate is all right.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I wrote. And I know it's gotta be tough. My parents are both still around, but the very thought scares the shit out of me.

[duccio.livejournal.com]

You could tell them the wine glass story and suggest an afternoon of wine and reminiscence to let the friend unload some grief. One of the worst things about suffering loss is that nobody wants to hear about it or get involved like a friend. It would be a really good gesture on your part, but call for some understanding and sharing of unhappiness. It depends of course on how close you are to the bereaved. Most people who do anything at all leave a cliche on a card - which is nothing at all.

I HATE THAT!!

[asleeponsunbeam.livejournal.com]

I'm constantly signing cards at work and I never know what to say! When my dad died-I hated when people said "I'm sorry" I never knew what to say to that either. Thanks? I'm sorry too? No problem-Don't worry about it!

Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss.

xoxo
J

[jra1279.livejournal.com]

this is always a pain in my ass because everyone puts "you'll be in my prayers" except, like, they won't be in mine, because i am a diehard agnostic.

[nonamejane.livejournal.com]

"I am so sorry for your loss" always works for me. And sign it "sincerely, wicked flea" - works well on birthday cards too...