wickedflea | (no subject)

OK, you cats have to check this out. You may have read and enjoyed (or been totally freaked out by) my Love Letters from Vlad. But you have not gotten the full experience until you've read it as fed through The Redneck Dialectizer.

A sample:

Yessuh, fella, sure yer strong inough varmint (mah by even mighty-mighty strong). Ennyway it is obviously yo' haf now th' ripped out rock hard mooscles... ah guess yer strenght into a fight is jest th' same t'yer power into a love. How gotcha th' bulgin' mooscles: is it fum yer gif', o' a talent non-stop wawkout, o' a mentality of a Musclehaid? Is it right th' mo'e yer agressive in a fight o' a love th' mo'e gals an' feller moosclefellas is awe of yo'? Do a someone yer opponent a weak try to resist on yo' stren'th? Is it pow'ful yer biceps git sfine out on th' time yo' git into stren'th tests? W'd yo' love t'use a boxin' an' a submisshun wrestlin' fo' a rough fight? Do yo' pow'ful love a pain an' a hurt into yer mooschle trainin' on a men? Do yo' git up mo'e strong fum it? Whut in tarnation does turn yo' on th' show off yer steel ripplin' mooscles an' on usin' th' irresistible power of them into a fight fo' a completely submisshun yer feller men? Whut in tarnation is yer flexed biceps sizes an' whut is yer age, Mr. "Grapple Muscles"?