(no subject)

[wickedflea]

It has become crystal clear that the folks at the Dunkin' Donuts drive-through are utterly incapable of getting my order right. Two weeks ago I ordered a big-ass black coffee and got a big-ass candy coffee. Last week I ordered a big-ass black coffee with a sourdough bagel and got a big-ass candy coffee with a fucking RAISIN bagel (UGGGGGGGGGGGH!) with STRAWBERRY cream cheese. Today I ordered a big-ass black coffee and got ANOTHER big-ass candy coffee. What's so difficult about "black"? Just pour the coffee! Don't put anything in it!

Maybe my terminology is off. Sometimes I hear people use the term "regular," but I don't know what that means. Does that mean black? Light and sweet? Or does it just mean not flavored, not cappuccino, not latte, just regular old coffee? What's the best way to convey that I want plain, unadulterated coffee goodness?

Yikes. I've become one of those people who get really cranky when it comes to their caffeine.

Comments

[jra1279.livejournal.com]

which one do you go to? the one on howe and chapel? my favorite one is the one on whitney.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I like the one on Whitney too, and sometimes I go to Howe and Chapel, but the one I have problems with is the brand-new one on Whalley. Sometimes when I drive to work (rather than take the bus), I go through the drive-through, and of course I never realize they've fucked up until I'm several blocks down the road.

[wretchmuffin.livejournal.com]

You can ask for "drip" coffee--that was the secret code for "don't fuck with my java" when I worked as a barista.
I think that maybe "regular" is with milk? But as for getting raisin and strawberry when you want sourdough--dude, maybe they're just messing with you.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

That's what I get for succumbing to the New England monopoly of Dunkin' Donuts, I guess. :\

[labrujah.livejournal.com]

As a former coffee slinger:
Regular means milk and two sugars. They should know what Black means, though. Dunkin Donuts is trying to become a coffee joint instead of a donut joint, and I doubt they're training their people properly.

In related news, Starbucks workers are unionizing!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

That's why I don't order anything complicated! Well, that and the fact that I don't understand all them new-fangled coffee concoctions that the hipsters favor. =) Maybe I'll have to become one of those crotchety old men and talk to them like they're stupid: "Now listen, sonny, all I want is coffee, understand? I don't want dairy and I don't want sugar. I want coffee. So pour it right or I'm bringing it back. And gimme my senior discount, ya cocksucker."

[labrujah.livejournal.com]

A lot of people used to say things like that to me when they were ordering! I didn't mind, unless it got to where they were like "And I need three layers of cups, and a special lid, and not too much milk and...and..."

Regular is the same as light and sweet, also btw.

After working there, I realized that cappucino actually tastes $2.50 better than coffee. But I still usually just get coffee.

[albert71292.livejournal.com]

I've never been to a Dunkin Donuts... only two actual donut places here are two locally owned places, Shipleys, and Haskells, Shipleys being the better of the two, and Haskells the only one having a drive-thru.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

We had Shipley's in my neck of the woods in MS! But Dunkin' Donuts is ubiquitous up here. You know how in the South, there are convenience stores on just about every corner along main thoroughfares? Here Dunkin' Donuts is like that. Check this out: there are THIRTY-EIGHT of 'em within ten miles of my house.



Yes, I could choose to focus on the rich culture and history up here in New England, but instead I choose to be fixated on the curious prevalence of Dunkin' Donuts in the area.

[miladyelizabeth.livejournal.com]

LMAO Good to finally know the numbers - I knew it had to be something insane like that...

[4hour-ramona.livejournal.com]

dude - there's no need for them to be putting shizz in your coffee. coffee is meant to be black. i'll kick their asses!

my own beef with dunkin' doughnuts is that they advertise their lattes and capuccinos as being "made with real espresso!" what else would they be made with? derrrr.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Amen, sister! Now I'm walking around with a sweet taste in my mouth and probably about a thousand more calories than I asked for. They will PAY.

[4hour-ramona.livejournal.com]

doughnut jerks!

there was a perkins that would always put cream and sugar in my coffee. always! i'd ask for it black and when that didn't work, i'd ask for the cream and sugar on the side. it's like i was speaking mongolian, because they'd always hand it to me all grey and sweet. coffee ain't s'posed to be gray!

[dangerpest.livejournal.com]

WTF, dude! For the last time, it's: "REGULAH!" not "Regular".
They probably can't understand you through that thick-as-grits accent you mangle your words with.
;]

-p

[twistedwithin.livejournal.com]

dont forget the ever charming. "CAW-FEE" pronunciation, kettle.

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

You sound like Denis Leary.

"Hey, goober! Someone dumped maple syrup in my coffee!"

dd

[nationofsheep.livejournal.com]

When I first moved to Boston, I couldn't figure that shit out either. I'd ask for a coffee and they'd go "regular?" And I thought they were talking about size or not hazelnut or some crap like that. So I'd say, "Sure." And I would get some goddamn cup half full of cream and sugar with some coffee flavoring. But they should get "black" pretty easily. I have had problems like that at DD, not at a drive through though. I had one at the end of my street in Boston. I would watch them and interrupt them, "Hey, I said black." I think they are just really accustomed to people ordering regular that they don't even know what they are doing anymore.

I find that this is best at places like DD. Check your coffee when they give it to you and give it back to them as soon as find the cup of cream. Don't explain anything. Just say, "I said black." Really flat and impatient. After the second time, they will NEVER get it wrong again, and to avoid you sitting outside the window checking your coffe, they will announce the black coffee as they hand it to you. Everyone will know who you are and you will get better service all the way around. And then you can buy the place and fire everyone.