(no subject)
Aug. 30th, 2004 05:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wickedfleaDid I ever tell you about the time I got carjacked by Margaret the Shakespeare Lady? No? Oh yeah, that's because it happened about an hour ago. I was moving the car and was over around Chapel and Howe, and Margaret spied me and came running. Normally she won't do that; she'll yell at you from the sidewalk but won't actually go out to the street unless you wave a dollar at her. Next thing I knew, though, she was opening the passenger door and asking me to give her a ride over to Whitney for a dollar. What could I do? I gave the poor lady a ride to Whitney. I charged her $3, though. Gas is expensive, mang.
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Egad. This weekend I watched the documentary Hell House, about these freaks in Dallas who put on this over-the-top haunted house to scare the shit out of people so they become good Christians. Freaky stuff.
What's weirder is that while I was watching the movie, my doppelganger Andy Richter was starring as Jesus Christ in the premiere of a Los Angeles stage production of Hell House (the production that the church does, I mean, not the documentary about such). Apparently they bought the rights from the church by telling them they were a religious group, and they're doing it right from the book. That oughta be fun.
I may have mentioned that I've received mail addressed to Christ Heller before. Yep. Some people know what goddamn time it is.
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I just got this e-mail:
I don't know any Claire, and I wasn't anywhere near the DNC. I think it's meant for the student at Yale also named Chris Heller. I wish she were asking about the RNC; then I'd give her some old bullshit: "Oh yes, it was terrible--those sodomite Republicans were fucking in the streets! Elizabeth Dole herself asked me if she could get some head, and Mary Matalin offered me a hit off her crack pipe!"
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No, I didn't really charge the Shakespeare lady anything. That wouldn't be very Christ-like of me, would it?
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Egad. This weekend I watched the documentary Hell House, about these freaks in Dallas who put on this over-the-top haunted house to scare the shit out of people so they become good Christians. Freaky stuff.
What's weirder is that while I was watching the movie, my doppelganger Andy Richter was starring as Jesus Christ in the premiere of a Los Angeles stage production of Hell House (the production that the church does, I mean, not the documentary about such). Apparently they bought the rights from the church by telling them they were a religious group, and they're doing it right from the book. That oughta be fun.
I may have mentioned that I've received mail addressed to Christ Heller before. Yep. Some people know what goddamn time it is.
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I just got this e-mail:
Hi Chris,
I'm working on a YDN article about the DNC and RNC, and I hear you
were at the DNC for the week? Is there sometime tomorrow I could
interview you? If you could just give me your cell phone number and a
time range you'd be available for a few questions, that would be great.
Thanks,
Claire
I don't know any Claire, and I wasn't anywhere near the DNC. I think it's meant for the student at Yale also named Chris Heller. I wish she were asking about the RNC; then I'd give her some old bullshit: "Oh yes, it was terrible--those sodomite Republicans were fucking in the streets! Elizabeth Dole herself asked me if she could get some head, and Mary Matalin offered me a hit off her crack pipe!"
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No, I didn't really charge the Shakespeare lady anything. That wouldn't be very Christ-like of me, would it?
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-30 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-30 02:39 pm (UTC)Margaret's a trip. She does everything from Chaucer to Hamlet to Richard Pryor's routine where he reimagines The Exorcist starring black people. I give her a little something from time to time, so she is always happy to see me. She can never remember my name or what she told me the last time I talked with her, but she remembers my face.
There was another time that I almost RAN OVER her. She was running out to meet someone who was going to give her some money and almost ran slam into me. I would have been run out of town!!!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-30 02:17 pm (UTC)Richter looks more like Manson than Christ.
Amen.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-30 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-30 02:21 pm (UTC)Dude, you are gonna be doomed to a hell where every woman is Ann Coulter, and I know how you would love that.
Better watch that shit.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-30 02:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-30 03:42 pm (UTC)*sings*
Date: 2004-08-30 02:28 pm (UTC)Re: *sings*
Date: 2004-08-30 02:41 pm (UTC)Re: *sings*
Date: 2004-08-30 02:51 pm (UTC)Re: *sings*
Date: 2004-08-30 10:14 pm (UTC)*sigh*
But I love you as New Improved Christ! Excellent. Now can you change water into crude oil, please? The masses thank you.
"Coulter." Heh.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-30 05:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-30 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 01:48 pm (UTC)See if I ever give her a ride, then. Not without a "four score and twenty friend romans countrymen" or something first. LOL