wickedflea | (no subject)

So yeah--we're sitting in court, and the lawyers finish with a witness, so the judge asks us if we'd like to recess for five minutes. Dude next to me is a tall, dapper fellow who sounds like he's not from around here. He pipes up, "YES, yes!" So we get up, and his seat cushion has a big ol' wet spot on it, with some little dribbling parts out in front. I looked around gaping like, "Is anyone SEEING this?!?" It was much like the time I saw that strip of toilet paper hanging out of that woman's pants. But no one would meet my gaze, which probably was a good thing. If we'd started laffing, everyone would have blamed it on me, and I'd have been held in contempt. So sure enough, when we got into the deliberation room, my man BOLTED for the restroom. And yes, when we went back, I did catch a few whiffs of pee pee.

I'm thinking about slipping the judge a note tomorrow:

dear your honorible majesty,

I must ask to be removed from these case because I fear that the man next to me are going to make Cocky at any time. Thank you for your attention into this matter

thebelljar thinks that I should become a spokesman for Depends undergarments because I have an uncanny ability to make people pee--which seems to be true. That'd be a pretty righteous gig.