Dr. Thompson has cashed his check

[wickedflea]

Well, this is the first time I've cried over a celebrity death in a while--probably since Charles Schulz left us. A couple of my friends have had close family members die recently, and I absolutely would not compare what I'm feeling to their losses--but still. A few times last night, I thought my brain was going to escape my skull. I was prepared long ago for HST's passing, but not like this. Not like this.

I won't go into the history of my fascination with Hunter or try to explain why he affected me so. Suffice it to say that most people, if they're lucky, have a certain few writers, artists, and/or musicians who grab them by the very soul and just don't let go. HST was that guy for me. THE guy in terms of writers. And it's quite painful to think of this man, who saw so much about the world and wrote about it so incisively, getting to the point of no return. It scares the shit out of me, if you want to know the truth.

Fuck it. I wish I could get a different perspective on this. Like sometimes when people who are in intense pain die, we say that it's a blessing. But what was this? What the fuck was this? A waste.

Comments

[labrujah.livejournal.com]

I am very sad too. But I figure, he must have had his own private reasons, and who am I to question them? Most of all in the later years of his life, his privacy was so important to him. I wish it didn't happen this way too.

[ozmaofoz.livejournal.com]

Have you read what docbrite says about seeing him last month? That might help. He was 67. I know you think of him as younger, but 67 in partyman years is like 200. He was probably in a lot of physical pain if he really couldn't support himself standing up.

I'm not trying to talk you out of the grief, but the existential hole that this has left for you needs some perspective. He lived a happy and interesting life, surrounded by people who adored him. He had a much easier time than you or I have ever had. He chose his death.

[ozmaofoz.livejournal.com]

http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/2005/02/hunter_takes_ou.html

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

Well, you don't know what he was going through, or what precipitated the decision. I see what he did, in his case, as less desperation as resolve. He would have never let anthing get him down to the point of offing himself, but I think he was pragmatic enough to make a strategic decision he felt was logical.

Yeah, it's a waste. But maybe to him it made sense. His life, his death, his terms.

And you know how I feel about suicide, so I don't talk like this every day. I'm sorry you've been disturbed by the loss of an icon. He was pretty damaged, despite his brilliance. You can't expect people like that to act like everyone else.

Here Ya Go, Hon

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/gucky/481006.html

Got the link from kmo and I have to agree it's a good homage, probably coming from close to the same place you are. Peace.

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

Yeh, I feel as you do: we all know people who took the bailout and left. And it's fine for them, but what about the yowling grief you're left with?

Whatever you feel right now, you feel.

Knowing that he did what he wanted to is some comfort for his sake, but not much for yours.

People say that my brother lived the life he wanted, and so he died, and might have lived, had he been more cautious. Somehow this is supposed to comfort me, but it really fucking doesn't.

:hugs flea:

[eluzive.livejournal.com]

there was a similar post on someone elses page about feeling the same thing "such a waste." The only thing I can say with some authority is that everyone goes throught their own personal hell. And no one outside of the person in that hell can really ever truly understand what that is. When a person is at point where suicide is the only option, chances are that they aren't thinking about who they are hurting or upsetting in the end. Most likely they are thinking about alieviating pain. Just stopping the hurt. This doesn't justify suicide. But to that person it makes sense. If not directly depression,at his age (I don't know much about him at all) but maybe he knew of some oncoming disease or had some sort of difficulty physiologically that he just couldn't cope with and possibly never told anyone.
There are a lot of factors that could have played in. Everyone's personal hell is only their own.
I am truly sorry that you feel this way. I guess the point I was trying to get across is that this persons acts were most likely not out of pure selfishness but rather an answer to some issue.
I don't think he intended to hurt his fans and I'd like to think if he were in place where he understood how much he meant to others it would have made a great difference.
Once again I am truly sorry for your loss.

::hugs::

TO Juan Anita and all the fandamly

[wangateur.livejournal.com]

I will miss him ... BIG HUG for Juan, Jen, Willam and Anita… who will never be able to fill the hole left in there lives by the man in spite of the myth and legend attached to his life..

I am a long time friend of Juan we went to the Aspen Community School together I have been using the blogs to try to send a message of love to him and the family but I know he is totally swamped because of the media attention at Owl farm and I need to let him know that we care for Him, Anita and the whole family in this time of tragedy while respecting his privacy

Let's see if we can get the word out ...
He was first THE MAN….
He became the myth and legend
To me he was several people.
He was my best friend’s dad although he always called his dad Hunter
(At Juan’s wedding he said to a friend about me “Look there’s another little bastard I raised that turned out OK”)
He was Hunter S. Thompson retiring shy southerner who loved guns and his freedom
And
He was the Dr. Gonzo who we all know who would be in your face and try to kill you if you attempted to try to take away his guns, drugs, freedom, privacy and the god given right to go into an explosive tirade about it.

To be such a person required him to have a unique emotional support structure. These people now need our support, love and understanding in this time of grief.

Bradley Laboe