(no subject)

[wickedflea]

Good fucking lord. I wore a brand-new nice shirt to work today. The designer whom the department took out to lunch yesterday brought around wrapped fancy chocolates for each of us. I put mine in my shirt pocket. I was writing something at my desk, and evidently I was pressing up against the edge of the desk with my mid-chest area. I guess the fucker exploded, for now I have a pocketful of chocolate and gooey filling, and I have to sit here with my arm across my left manbreast for the next hour so nobody will see what a spaz I am. I was very careful not to get mustard on my shirt at lunch today, and now I'm sitting here smelling like the Godiva chocolate factory. I haven't had a food-related disaster this bad since the salsa nightmare.

Comments

[m-fallenangel.livejournal.com]

Dude, there's no way a blob of chocolate in your shirt (Why the fuck did you put it in your shirt anyway?) could compare to the Salsa Incident.

I know criminologists who use your salsa pics to explain splatter patterns to interns.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

It was in a wrapper--I thought it was safe! But if I hadn't put it there, I probably would have put it in my pants pocket--and I'm sure something equally disastrous would have happened, and I'd have ended up looking like I'd wiped shit all over my pants.

I should have just eaten it. :\

[m-fallenangel.livejournal.com]

Never delay the consumption of chocolate. Lesson learned.

[lemmons.livejournal.com]

Haha, you said manbreast! Just tell people you're lactating chocolate, it's not that uncommon. Niiiice salsa job!

I'm in bad need of a nap, so every time I read this I get tears rolling down my face. Sorry, not funny to you, but hilarious to me.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I'll just go into my boss's office and say, "Hello yes I must go home for it seem that my titty are leaking chocolate." ;)

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

At least the chocolate wasn't in the back pocket of your pants. That would raise a whole other series of questions... ;)

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Seriously! I'm actually quite lucky that it was the shirt. :)

[lastcallforcorn.livejournal.com]

oh my GOD, the salsa nightmare made my day!

what did people do, before the internet, when shit like that happened?

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

Oh, come on, now... no chocolate next to your body, it melts!

That is why M&Ms were invented, you know.

There is nothing worse than finding an old coat in the closet that you have put candy in the pocket and forgotten, and it sat there all summer melting into the lining so that you have a permanently stained blob.

Try cold water on the stain, and soak it with dishwashing liquid. You have to treat a chocolate stain like blood.

[jetjet.livejournal.com]

*sniggering* I am *more sniggering* really sorry *stifles laugh* to hear that Flea.

[rottensick.livejournal.com]

I've had the salsa nightmare saved as a memory on LJ all this time, haha! Everytime I drop something sauce/salsa related, I remember that entry.

[tonybologna.livejournal.com]

Yo dude, long time no livejournaling for me.

Last summer, I was working as a cab driver, and I had a brand new white t-shirt on. I decided to get two hot dogs with chili and ketchup and whatnot. Of course, I could not resist slobbing on as much ketchup and chili as possible. As soon as I bit into the fucker, I got a HUGE splotch of ketchup and chili right in the middle of my white shirt. Luckily, most people assume cab drivers are nuts anyway, so no one really cared that my white shirt was heavily laden with condiment goodness.