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Jun. 2nd, 2005 12:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wickedfleaGarbfruggit, I had a post mostly written, and my computer locked up and lost it.
KLURGIDDWECKIN. It just crashed AGAIN. I guess now my work computer has decided to get hosed too. Hate mail.
Do video-store clerks ever give you shit about the stuff you rent? I can’t remember having much trouble of that sort, but I had one incident in Starkville several years ago. I was in Movie Gallery to rent the Gary Oldman film about playwright Joe Orton. When I got to the counter, the clerk took one look at the box, and blurted out, "PRICK Up Your Ears?!?" I started to explain--I guess it's a British saying, means "listen up," blah blah blah--but I ended up just sighing and saying, "Yes. Prick Up Your Ears." I wonder if she did that with all her customers. Heck, they rented pornos too--did she react that way to those titles? "ANAL Jammed? WILY FORESKIN?" What business is it of hers if I want to see a prick up somebody's ears anyway? This is America, damn you.
Speaking of filth, something about that just reminded me of something funny I heard in a porn shop a couple of years ago. (It was a one-time trip to buy incense and crack pipes, OK?) This greasy-looking manager type was in there talking with one of his employees. "Yeah, man, ya know I was doing inventory the other day, and we got like over 800 dildos! Yeah, that's pretty good, but I wanna get like at least a couple of hundred more dildos for the ladies. That way, we can put it in our ads: 'THOUSANDS OF DILDOS. FOR THE LADIES.' I want people to know that we have the most toys. You know, for the ladies."
Oh, I almost forgot. I was at a stop light on the way home yesterday, and I was watching some overgrown white kid with slicked-back hair and a Jason Kidd jersey. He was trying to act all cool with his baggy shorts and gold chains. I was kind of getting a kick out of watching him, so I happened to be looking right at him at the exact moment when some kid sneaked up behind him and smacked the DOGSHIT out of him. Punched him right in the side of his face. Did you ever notice that when you see someone get hit like that, you have to say, "Oh, SHIT!"? It's like how Eddie Murphy says you have to say "motherfucker" when you get shot. It's a natural physiological reaction. I heard at least two people on the street say it at the same time I did. "Oh, SHIT!" Anyway, the assailant took off running, and the victim just walked into his house. In a minute, though (it was a long traffic light), he came running out and asking where the guy had gone. I hope he didn't have a gun or anything.
KLURGIDDWECKIN. It just crashed AGAIN. I guess now my work computer has decided to get hosed too. Hate mail.
Do video-store clerks ever give you shit about the stuff you rent? I can’t remember having much trouble of that sort, but I had one incident in Starkville several years ago. I was in Movie Gallery to rent the Gary Oldman film about playwright Joe Orton. When I got to the counter, the clerk took one look at the box, and blurted out, "PRICK Up Your Ears?!?" I started to explain--I guess it's a British saying, means "listen up," blah blah blah--but I ended up just sighing and saying, "Yes. Prick Up Your Ears." I wonder if she did that with all her customers. Heck, they rented pornos too--did she react that way to those titles? "ANAL Jammed? WILY FORESKIN?" What business is it of hers if I want to see a prick up somebody's ears anyway? This is America, damn you.
Speaking of filth, something about that just reminded me of something funny I heard in a porn shop a couple of years ago. (It was a one-time trip to buy incense and crack pipes, OK?) This greasy-looking manager type was in there talking with one of his employees. "Yeah, man, ya know I was doing inventory the other day, and we got like over 800 dildos! Yeah, that's pretty good, but I wanna get like at least a couple of hundred more dildos for the ladies. That way, we can put it in our ads: 'THOUSANDS OF DILDOS. FOR THE LADIES.' I want people to know that we have the most toys. You know, for the ladies."
Oh, I almost forgot. I was at a stop light on the way home yesterday, and I was watching some overgrown white kid with slicked-back hair and a Jason Kidd jersey. He was trying to act all cool with his baggy shorts and gold chains. I was kind of getting a kick out of watching him, so I happened to be looking right at him at the exact moment when some kid sneaked up behind him and smacked the DOGSHIT out of him. Punched him right in the side of his face. Did you ever notice that when you see someone get hit like that, you have to say, "Oh, SHIT!"? It's like how Eddie Murphy says you have to say "motherfucker" when you get shot. It's a natural physiological reaction. I heard at least two people on the street say it at the same time I did. "Oh, SHIT!" Anyway, the assailant took off running, and the victim just walked into his house. In a minute, though (it was a long traffic light), he came running out and asking where the guy had gone. I hope he didn't have a gun or anything.
