(no subject)

[wickedflea]

Crap, my computer crapped out again and ate another post.

You ever see that "Tips for Yankees Moving South" thing that circulates via e-mail and on the web? One of the tips goes: "If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for." That's actually based in truth. I've gotten stuck on the side of the road twice in Mississippi, and on both occasions some dudes quickly showed up and got me out. Once, it actually was a couple of guys in a four-wheel drive, but the other time was a little different. I had the beer, and they were on foot. I'd been to the beer store in the next county because Starkville doesn't sell alcohol on Sundays, and afterward I was just sort of aimlessly driving around on country roads, I suppose because I had nothing better to do. Well, at some point I decided to turn around, and I somehow botched the intricate procedure and ended up stuck in the mud. Almost before I realized I was stuck, a gang of shirtless rednecks came bounding out of the trailer across the road and had me freed in about two seconds flat. It cost me about six beers, but I gave them out gladly.

I won't go into what made me think of that whole thing, but the funny thing I remember about it is the brief exchange I had with the leader of the crew. As I was passing out beers, the guy (who was a dead ringer for Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel) asked me, "Hey, ya ain't got one o' them good-uns, do ya?"

"Uhhhh . . . I'm sorry--what?"

"Them good-uns. You got any?"

"I . . . well, I'm not sure . . ."

"You know, them jernts."

"OH! Haha, no, I don't really smoke much anymore."

"Aight then."

Why do I remember that? I'm clearly insane.

Comments

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

"Watch out for them skunks. Sometimes they go off even though they's dead." ;)

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Cletus rules!

[saying-things.livejournal.com]

Clearly.

[steprous.livejournal.com]

funny stuff

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Heh, thanks. :)

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

It has happened to me, too. I drove my car into the ditch one night and it was hauled out and towed the half mile from there to my dad's and left in the driveway. Voila.

I don't even know who did it; somebody else had picked me up and brought me to dad's, so it was some mystery person who obviously recognized my car. Actually, that's pretty scary. I'll bet they were good at covering up all sorts of "accidents".

The secret's in the sauce.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

YOW, that is pretty scary! Convenient at the time, I'm sure--but wow.

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

The comfort and disconcerting paranoia of living in a small town. It certainly kept me from throwing wild interracial pot parties with athiests from New Orleans out at the camp.

[rottensick.livejournal.com]

I am confused as to why Cletus has that many children. How in the good fuck did that guy ever get laid?!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

He must got like mad pheromones or something.

I was just reading the list of his children's names again. Q-bert. God, that rules.`

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think "Rumer" and "Scout" after Bruce Willis' kids is hilarious. There is bound to be a reason for all those names. Q-Bert. Ha.

[wistfulunicorn.livejournal.com]

Just browsing around and found you... Starkville, State, Mississippi good ole boys! Love the story. Truely Mississippi!

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Haha, thanks! Good to meet another good ole Mississippi boy person. ;)

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

P.S. -- You met me at a very strange time in my life. :)

[wistfulunicorn.livejournal.com]

Life can be VERY strange at times. Good luck!