(no subject)

[wickedflea]

I'm learning so much in outpatient group. Tonight I learned that prison these days just isn't like it used to be; it's "not as fun." And my fellow patient Ruby explained to the group that it absolutely can't be true that Asian men have the highest suicide rate, because her nephew "was blacker than hell, and he sure killed himself."

Then I got to listen to an octogenarian German clincian named Claude define the word "euphoria" for us. "It's happy, you know happiness, you know how you feel happy?" Deep shit.

(I really don't have a bad attitude about this whole recovery thing; I'm rather excited about it. But y'all should see this outpatient fiasco.)

Comments

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Maybe a little. There are moments here and there, but they're much too few and far between for me to be spending 20 hours a week there. I'd do better to go to nightly meetings, which I'm going to do anyway, so really this is keeping me from getting started with that. I think I'm going to discharge myself when I go back to work next week and just go to meetings.

This is a different outfit from the inpatient treatment, by the way. That helped quite a lot, but this . . . not so much.

[scottcrawford.livejournal.com]

Bring a tape recorder in, and start podcasting your group sessions.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Don't think I haven't thought about recording them. If I didn't fear a karmic bitchslap, I'd let y'all hear, but I guess it's probably not the coolest thing in the world to do. :)

[scottcrawford.livejournal.com]

It'd put you on pretty shaky legal ground, too, unfortunately.

I'm just laughing at myself, at the mindset it takes to think "Podcast it!" when told of a situation like that. I truly am going to hell.

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

I think it helps for you to be able to see the humanity and ridiculousness of it... after all, that is what put you at the mercy of your substance, taking things too seriously.

See the humor in it and let that be your key.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

True enough. It'll make for good stories if nothing else.

[nationofsheep.livejournal.com]

That's awesome. I know the whole scene. Nothing like it. You try to retain a sense of humor but when you are tired and been working all day, it is just too difficult.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I know! Sometimes I have a difficult time not freaking out when I'm in a chaotic scene that I have no control over--one in which I have NO IDEA what the hell's going on. You'd think acid would have prepared me for that, but nooooo . . .

[nationofsheep.livejournal.com]

But it DID prepare you. When you are on acid and see that scene, you freak out!

[seeds-of-peace.livejournal.com]

may i ask, what you're recovering from?

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Booze!

[seeds-of-peace.livejournal.com]

ahh.. an honorable addiction ;)

[jennifervescent.livejournal.com]

In the very least, it should tell you that this is one club you'd rather not be a member of. You deserve more. TRULY internalizing this idea should help. Lemme say it again: YOU DESERVE MORE. I don't care what deeply-buried (or not so deeply-buried) emotional arguments you make with yourself to the contrary. You do deserve more. (Even those evil goofball idiots in your group do.)

holy incarceration!

[bellastrega.livejournal.com]

"prison these days just isn't like it used to be"
I heard this EXACT phrase a few months ago from an ex-con I know, so it must be "TRUE"!

[wistfulunicorn.livejournal.com]

at least it is good for a laugh. Hope you aren't having to pay for it...

[dichotomous.livejournal.com]

If wouldn't be part of your life if you didn't come out of it with stories to tell. :)

[filthymonkey.livejournal.com]

wow. Good people watchin'!

[cynical5679.livejournal.com]

that was the funniest shit ive read all day