One time I had a dream about my Grandmother cooking Sunday dinner. It seems that I had come over with some guy I barely knew, and she invited him to dinner. I thought, "Oh CRAP, I don't even like this guy!" So it got to be Sunday, and it was just me, GM, and the dude there. As I was sitting there sort of sulking because this numbnuts was at the table, he started asking her questions about the food.
"This rice is good--is it minute rice or regular?"
Now, you have to understand that Grandmother is the most polite, gracious woman in the world. She's also never used minute rice in her life.
"Oh, it's real rice, honey."
And it went on like that. He'd ask her if the biscuits were from a can or from scratch, she'd smile and tell him scratch, etc. Eventually I started tuning the whole conversation out and concentrating on the mashed potatoes.
Soon enough, the dude took a bite of his corn-on-the-cob, and he got a piece of silk in his mouth. He reached up, pulled it out, and asked my Grandmother, "This hair . . . corn or penis?"
"Corn," she replied politely.
And in the dream, it took me about three seconds after that exchange to wrap my head around what had just gone down--at which time, I kind of twisted my neck, rubbed my face, and said, "JEEEsus!"
Yap, I woke up laffing from that one. And I told my Grandmother and Aunt Jo, so now every time we have corn over there, my aunt will start laffing like hell out of the blue and ask me what that crazy dream I had that time was.
Dude you have some amazingly f'd up dreams and what's scurry is I've been known to read your posts and then have my own dreams. It's like dreaming the next episode in the Heller sitcom.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-08-12 10:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-12 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-12 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-13 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-12 11:55 pm (UTC)She would find that quite explicit me thinks.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-13 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-14 04:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-14 05:03 am (UTC)"This rice is good--is it minute rice or regular?"
Now, you have to understand that Grandmother is the most polite, gracious woman in the world. She's also never used minute rice in her life.
"Oh, it's real rice, honey."
And it went on like that. He'd ask her if the biscuits were from a can or from scratch, she'd smile and tell him scratch, etc. Eventually I started tuning the whole conversation out and concentrating on the mashed potatoes.
Soon enough, the dude took a bite of his corn-on-the-cob, and he got a piece of silk in his mouth. He reached up, pulled it out, and asked my Grandmother, "This hair . . . corn or penis?"
"Corn," she replied politely.
And in the dream, it took me about three seconds after that exchange to wrap my head around what had just gone down--at which time, I kind of twisted my neck, rubbed my face, and said, "JEEEsus!"
Yap, I woke up laffing from that one. And I told my Grandmother and Aunt Jo, so now every time we have corn over there, my aunt will start laffing like hell out of the blue and ask me what that crazy dream I had that time was.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-14 05:10 am (UTC)Dude you have some amazingly f'd up dreams and what's scurry is I've been known to read your posts and then have my own dreams. It's like dreaming the next episode in the Heller sitcom.
You rock the mostest!
no subject
Date: 2005-08-15 06:45 am (UTC)