wickedflea: (heller hound)
[personal profile] wickedflea
A while back, I was listening to King Diamond full-blast on my way back from lunch. I actually do this quite a bit because I like the looks I get from the Yalies as King goes from a guttural growl to a ridiculous falsetto. Anyway, I had my phone in my shirt pocket, and apparently my tit decided to randomly call someone. So it dialed my friend's cell phone, which was on the table next to the bed where her three-year-old son was taking a nap. She was elsewhere in the house and didn't hear the phone, so her son answered it. Evidently, as I learned later, my breast and the avowed Satanist King Diamond had quite a conversation with this child, for he told his mother that the Devil and his friends had called him.

When she told me about this, I merely laughed nervously and said that he must have just heard the phone rustling in my pocket--that and an overactive imagination must have made him think he was hearing satanic noises. I didn't dare tell her that he'd heard King Diamond, for she has never found my jokes about Satan very funny; in fact, I think she sometimes wonders if I actually do worship Satan--which, of course, I do not. I mean, shit, he's my homeslice, but I don't WORSHIP him or nothin'.

Anyway, I'm telling you folks this, but I'm still going to keep it from her. Unless this filter doesn't work, in which case I'm in deep shit. Satan works in mysterious ways.

Date: 2006-01-19 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saying-things.livejournal.com
OMG look I got you un-pr0nned!

Your tit is such a prankster.

Date: 2006-01-19 08:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
YES! And the first post you could comment to was about satanic music. I'm accepted by the mainstream, yet still subversive! That's truly dangerous.`

Date: 2006-01-19 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dob.livejournal.com
haha! I want to go to lunch with you!

Date: 2006-01-19 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Heck yeah! We could set this mother on its ear.

Date: 2006-01-19 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcmayhem.livejournal.com
I want to go to lunch with your tit.

Date: 2006-01-19 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Excellent! It'll give you a ring at its earliest convenience.

Date: 2006-01-19 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buscemi.livejournal.com
Anyway, I had my phone in my shirt pocket, and apparently my tit decided to randomly call someone.

>>Oh, man. That made laugh. (It would've been louder, but I'm a work.)

Didn't King Diamond get sued by KISS over his makeup design? What a crock. I remember seeing him and Flotsam and Jetsam in Chicago back in '88. Some dumbass threw a cup at one of the F&J guitarists. They stopped the show to find the guy, and he got the boot. I still remember he was wearing an Anthrax "Not" hat. Hee.

Date: 2006-01-19 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Haha! I'm all about getting people in trouble at work for laughing. =)

Yap, freakin' Gene Simmons sued King and won. :( (Or at least got him to settle and change his makeup.) That guy is the filthiest, greediest guy on the planet.

Date: 2006-01-20 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theodicy.livejournal.com
Yech! Now I have another reason to hate Gene Simmons and spew whenever I see him on that goddamn commercial.

You done made up that part about the kid.

Date: 2006-01-20 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
NUH UH! I speak no lies, only trues!

Date: 2006-01-19 08:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jennifervescent.livejournal.com
I don't know how you can enjoy King Diamond at all- not even for the comedic value. Dude sounds like he's got his balls in a vice (or his cat's).

Date: 2006-01-19 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
I think it's satanic mind control. Plus, his band is amazing! I will say that King is an acquired taste--though, of course, I understand that most people wouldn't want to acquire it. ;)

Date: 2006-01-19 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starflow.livejournal.com
Looks like home boy's got a bit of a porn 'stache goin' on!!

Date: 2006-01-19 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
boom chicka BOW!

Date: 2006-01-19 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lastcallforcorn.livejournal.com
oh no, the devil and his friends called! that poor kid! i was traumatized after encoutering KISS at some point prior to my 5th birthday. i thought for a while that they were under my bed. no good.

once again, you can file this under "only you, flea." :)

Date: 2006-01-19 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Hehehe, I was a KISS fan by age 6, so that's probably why I'm warped. It's all Ace Frehley's fault!

And yeah, that file's pretty thick by now. ;)

Date: 2006-01-19 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] steprous.livejournal.com
you couldn't make this stuff up

Date: 2006-01-20 04:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Hahahaha, I know!

Date: 2006-01-20 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notmyworld.livejournal.com
GRANNNNNNNNNNNDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WELCOME HOOOOOOME!

You have been goooooooo-o-ooooooone
for far to loooooooo-o-oooooong

Or is this a dream?
ARE YOU REALLY THEEEEEEEEERE??

Date: 2006-01-20 04:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
LET ME HELP YOU OUT OF THE CHAIR G-G-GRANDMA!
LET ME TOUCH YOU, LET ME FEEL!

Date: 2006-01-20 05:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notmyworld.livejournal.com
King Diamond takes me back a long fucking way. I guess it's time to make with the illegal downloading.

Dig the Powerslave icon, BTW. Don't make me bust into a few bars of Rime of the Ancient Mariner up in this bitch.
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