wickedflea: (they fucking killed him)
[personal profile] wickedflea
OK, you foodie bastards have taken things way too far. Check out this article my mom sent me this weekend:
Beijing's penis emporium

There are many thousands of Chinese restaurants around in the UK and everyone has their favourite dish, but only in China itself do chefs specialise in a range of slightly more unusual delicacies.

The dish in front of me is grey and shiny.

"Russian dog," says my waitress Nancy.

"Big dog," I reply.

"Yes," she says. "Big dog's penis..."

We are in a cosy restaurant in a dark street in Beijing but my appetite seems to have gone for a stroll outside.

Nancy has brought out a whole selection of delicacies.

They are draped awkwardly across a huge platter, with a crocodile carved out of a carrot as the centrepiece.

Nestling beside the dog's penis are its clammy testicles, and beside that a giant salami-shaped object.

"Donkey," says Nancy. "Good for the skin..."

She guides me round the penis platter.

"Snake. Very potent. They have two penises each."

I did not know that.

What better way to secure a contract than over a steaming penis fondue.

Date: 2006-09-25 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
I know! That's the most gorfous thing I've read in quite some time.

Date: 2006-09-25 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lulu-girl.livejournal.com
have you ever seen the documentary on the food channel called 'bizarre asian foods' (something like that)

Really. Bats to lots of penis dishes to testicles to bug thingies to you name it.

Even the fruit is mad crasy. Durian! gah.

Date: 2006-09-25 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Yikes! I need to keep an eye out for that show. I didn't even know what a durian was--it looks like a sea porcupine or somesing!

Them Asians eat some wile stuff. Why can't they eat normal stuff, like pickled pigs feet or pork cracklins? *gorf*

Date: 2006-09-25 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lulu-girl.livejournal.com
hahahah! pork cracklins! ahahhaha.

gross.

Durian apparently smells like ... sewage mixed with sweat socks. Or something. It's not allowed to be eaten in most public places in Thailand. I have no idea what it smells or tastes like. I'm a wussy.

GAAAAAH sorry the show is on The Travel Channel.
Here's a blog from the chef who eats weird stuff:
http://msp.blogs.com/chowandagain/2006/09/how_bizarre.html

JUST WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT CLICK ON THE GRUB IMAGE. feeeek imagine eating one groooosss i want to die now. :(

Date: 2006-09-25 07:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
BWAGH you TOLD me not to click! And what the fug was that stuff on his HANDS? NEVER MIND!

Date: 2006-09-25 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lulu-girl.livejournal.com
I KNOW! like, wtf???
grub goo!
GRUB GOO

fek

Date: 2006-09-25 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lulu-girl.livejournal.com
uhm...what the h is wrong with durian?

http://www.fruitlovers.com/Durian.jpg


Kinda looks like reproductive organs. That have been ripped out of a cow. Or something like that.

Date: 2006-09-25 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lulu-girl.livejournal.com
HAHAHAH

" The English novelist Anthony Burgess famously said that dining on durian is like eating vanilla custard in a latrine. Travel and food writer Richard Sterling says:

... its odor is best described as pig-shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. It can be smelled from yards away. Despite its great local popularity, the raw fruit is forbidden from some establishments such as hotels, subways and airports, including public transportation in Southeast Asia."

You know...I actually want to try this stuff. I think.

Date: 2006-09-25 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
!!!

"In accordance with its reputation as an aphrodisiac, the durian's flavour has been used in condoms. In Thailand, durian-flavoured condoms used to be sold at 7-Eleven nationwide.[45] Indonesia began selling durian-flavoured condoms in 2003. According to the director of DKT Indonesia, the country's leading condom distributor, 150,000 of the durian-flavoured condoms were sold in their first week on the market."

Date: 2006-09-25 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lulu-girl.livejournal.com
what the FEK

who the hell wants to fuck something that smells like pig-shit and onions?

This might be inappropriate, but seriously, people. Dick doesn't taste that bad. Sheesh.

Date: 2006-09-25 08:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
I would hope not! It's time to clean your junk if a girl would rather smell a feet-and-ass flavored condom.

Date: 2006-09-25 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lulu-girl.livejournal.com
HAHAHA

yeah. soap. it's the new perfume.

Date: 2006-09-25 07:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theodicy.livejournal.com
Not just testicles, but CLAMMY testicles!

It'll catch on all over, you wait. CLAMMY TESTICLE SHACKS up and down the coast.

Date: 2006-09-25 07:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Maybe if this kind of thing gets big enough (ahem), we'll soon see jars of pickled clammy testicles at all bars and quickie marts with an ounce of class. We can only hope.

Date: 2006-09-26 01:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carocrow.livejournal.com
You know, the funniest part of this is that your mother sent you the link.

Date: 2006-09-28 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] here2bsilly.livejournal.com
um... yikes

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