I used to work with a crackhead named Pam who looked like Mushmouth and was always trying to check out my penis through my polyester pants. She once offered me $60 worth of food stamps to have sex with her.
(I declined.)
Then there was the time when I was a manager that me and a couple of the guys on the crew were chasing a mouse around the dining room with brooms and dustpans. We were knocking each other over and the whole deal, all while customers went looking for higher ground, like on top of the counter. It kinda rocked.
=)
I wanna get all my stories from there and make a book or at least a nice article out of 'em. I knew FAR too many characters at BK to let that material just sit. I mean, hell, the guy Lonzie is named after would merit his own chapter.
-could kick the ceiling from a dead standstill, and would solicit money to do so: "ONE DOLLAR!!!!!" -had an old busted Camaro that he would cruise through the school parking lot in after he'd dropped out, only one day to have the fucking door fall off right in front of everyone -spent half his time in the kitchen dancing like MC Hammer before most people had even heard of MC Hammer -ripped a gigantic hole in the crotch of his pants doing said Hammer dances and grew to love the hole -used to state randomly, matter-of-factly but emphatically, and in no one in particular, "I wanna fuck me some pussy" -in high-school shop class, once somehow accidentally got that "slip" stuff in his mouth and thought he was going to die, stumbling around sputtering "arghrlakdsjf slip in my mouf" -used to sneak up behind me and scare the fuck out of me, so I'd take the dish sprayer and hit him in the crotch hole with big-ass streams of water -is now, I'm VERY sad to report, facing a murder trial for his role in a car accident that killed a woman and her unborn child :(
I can only assume that he must have been drunk, but none of the news articles ever say that. I read that he's being charged with a "depraved heart murder," which means that it wasn't premeditated, but his actions showed such disregard for human life that it should be considered murder.
Anyway. Very sad. :( The weird thing is that he didn't drink when I knew him, but of course that was years and years ago.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 07:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 08:50 pm (UTC)lolololol!
I can't believe you fuck with fast food workers. Someone's gonna spit in yer burger! PISS AND FLIES.
Did you go into the restaurant? huh? Did ya act normal?!?!??!
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:00 pm (UTC)I just remember when I used to work in fast food, I liked it when people came through acting crazy. I'd just get crazy right back on 'em.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:05 pm (UTC)the whole part about them not being worth a shit cracked me the fuck up. You almost broke! :D
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:15 pm (UTC)*pops popcorn*
*gets a beverage*
I'm all set!
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:38 pm (UTC)Let's see. Maybe a quickie or two.
I used to work with a crackhead named Pam who looked like Mushmouth and was always trying to check out my penis through my polyester pants. She once offered me $60 worth of food stamps to have sex with her.
(I declined.)
Then there was the time when I was a manager that me and a couple of the guys on the crew were chasing a mouse around the dining room with brooms and dustpans. We were knocking each other over and the whole deal, all while customers went looking for higher ground, like on top of the counter. It kinda rocked.
=)
I wanna get all my stories from there and make a book or at least a nice article out of 'em. I knew FAR too many characters at BK to let that material just sit. I mean, hell, the guy Lonzie is named after would merit his own chapter.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:42 pm (UTC)!!!!
jesus fuck! hahahHAHAHAHA!
ew
Lonzie is named after a BK worker?!?!?!
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:54 pm (UTC)-could kick the ceiling from a dead standstill, and would solicit money to do so: "ONE DOLLAR!!!!!"
-had an old busted Camaro that he would cruise through the school parking lot in after he'd dropped out, only one day to have the fucking door fall off right in front of everyone
-spent half his time in the kitchen dancing like MC Hammer before most people had even heard of MC Hammer
-ripped a gigantic hole in the crotch of his pants doing said Hammer dances and grew to love the hole
-used to state randomly, matter-of-factly but emphatically, and in no one in particular, "I wanna fuck me some pussy"
-in high-school shop class, once somehow accidentally got that "slip" stuff in his mouth and thought he was going to die, stumbling around sputtering "arghrlakdsjf slip in my mouf"
-used to sneak up behind me and scare the fuck out of me, so I'd take the dish sprayer and hit him in the crotch hole with big-ass streams of water
-is now, I'm VERY sad to report, facing a murder trial for his role in a car accident that killed a woman and her unborn child :(
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:59 pm (UTC)How awful! He sounds like quite the character too!
Was he drunk driving or something? Dang. What a shame!
You needs to write a book. FOR REALS.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 02:40 pm (UTC)I can only assume that he must have been drunk, but none of the news articles ever say that. I read that he's being charged with a "depraved heart murder," which means that it wasn't premeditated, but his actions showed such disregard for human life that it should be considered murder.
Anyway. Very sad. :( The weird thing is that he didn't drink when I knew him, but of course that was years and years ago.
I gotta start writing!
no subject
Date: 2007-09-18 09:56 pm (UTC)thats exactly the part where I pee'd a little.
you're my personal hero : )
no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 01:35 pm (UTC)=)
no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 12:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 01:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 12:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 01:36 pm (UTC)\m/
no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 02:29 pm (UTC)