(no subject)

Ahhhhh -- glad to be home. Just got back from the Mets-Giants game with some cronies from work. Fun trip, and the rain stayed away for the most part. It was a good game, too -- interesting for someone like me, who doesn't have any particular reason to root for the Mets or the Giants. Got to see a Barry Bonds home run, a Mo Vaughan MONSTER 450-foot shot, and a Barry Bonds ejection. And it's not even that late, even after dropping two of the other guys off. I would have been home even earlier if not for one of those inexplicable traffic jams where you finally get to the site of the complication and find that two lanes of the interstate are blocked off so that one fucking guy with a shovel can move some gravel from one place to another. Yes, I could have made that sentence even longer if I'd tried, for I have mad skills.

Proofreading test at 9 a.m. and interview at 2:00. I'll be so freaking glad to have this week over.

(no subject)

Ooof. I'm a little tired this morning. And, to make matters worse, I have "Hazy Shade of Winter" in my head for about the ninth day in a row. The Bangles' version. WTF? I haven't even actually heard that song recently.

BTW, I think it should have been Slayer instead of the Bangles doing that song for the Less than Zero soundtrack. They were already on there with their "In-a-Gadda-da-Vida" cover, but you can never have too much Slayer on a movie soundtrack. That's a formula for success, baby.

(no subject)

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Weather's perfect. Took my proofreading test this morning, and I think I dominated it. Turns out it was the same test I took eight months ago when I applied for this job. Also had to take another typing test, and I blew that out of the water too. I think I needed 25-30 words per minute, and I got 67 wpm. Ph3ear my clerical expertise.

(no subject)

I was just about to send an email to Dianne, and I figured I'd post it here. We have a running dialogue about cowbells, and recently there's been a lot of talk of chickens around the office (because of some poultry science conference that the exhibits manager keeps referring to as "the chicken meeting").

Remind me to tell you the story of my high-school-newspaper expose of the Starkville Piggly Wiggly's unfortunate treatment of frozen chickens.

Also, I don't know if you heard about this, but cowbells are making big news these days:
http://espn.go.com/nba/playoffs2002/s/2002/0509/1380736.html

My alma mater is a cow college (that is, a school teaching proper cow management, not a school run by or for cows). So, of course, we ring cowbells at sporting events.
http://www.msstate.edu/athletics/traditions/traditions.html#cowbell

Speaking of cows -- from time to time, rumors have surfaced (mostly perpetuated by yours truly) about MSU players building their upper-body strength by throwing cows.
http://www.chrisheller.net/sounds/cristil.ra

However, the only MSU bovine abuse that has been actually proved is the infamous Jackie Sherrill castration incident. We had nothing to do with that spray-painted chicken, though.
http://www.angelo.edu/events/university_symposium/1995/eitzen.htm (about halfway down the page, in the paragraph beginning with "The behavior of coaches . . .")

sneeze fetish

This is probably going to sound really sexist or otherwise ignorant, but what the fuck. You know what freaks me out? When big, husky, man-sized women let out those little tiny squeak-like sneezes. You see their whole body quake, and there's only this little noise. It's bad enough when petite women do it (or the other thing where they really stifle the sneeze and you barely hear anything), but for some reason it bothers me more with the bigger gals. Sneeze like a human being, dammit!

(no subject)

Just got out of my interview a little while ago. Talked with two people for over an hour. It was a bit exhausting, as interviews always are, but I feel pretty confident that I rocked the party that rocks the body. Both of the people who interviewed me said that they weigh the proofreading/editing test very heavily, and that makes me feel good, because, like I said earlier, I think I gave it the beat-down. And they plan to make a decision the middle of next week, so I'll know something soon.

Now I'll go score a big ol' crack rock, and my day will be complete. Oh, that reminds me -- at the Mets game, someone in our section was firing up some weed. I didn't see it, but I damn sure smelled it. I'm always the first person to notice that smell. My Mom and I were walking though Manhattan a couple of weeks ago, and all of a sudden I got a strong whiff and said, "GodDAMN! Huh? Oh, nothing, Mom, never mind . . ."

I'm covering the front desk right now, and I'm looking at the video screen that monitors the front and back doors to the building. I've been here for ten minutes, and I've seen probably ten people leaving early. I should forge an email from the press director to them -- "You were seen leaving twenty minutes early on Friday, and don't think for a minute that you're getting away with it, because I'm on to you, slacker."