I've had this ice-cream bar since I was a child!!! People . . . always trying to take it from me!!!

One of my bad habits is using the words "sure" and "probably" together. Someone will ask me if naked leapfrog is legal in this state and I'll say, "I'm sure it probably is." How that for sounding authoritative?

It's actually chilly outside. Feels nice, but it reminds me that winter is coming, which is not a Good Thing. The weather was really freaky yesterday; the wind was blowing so hard that trees were coming down and several people were struck in the neck by flying dogs. OK, I don't know about the dogs thing, but I'm sure that any small animals that were outside yesterday were probably tossed around a good bit. Damn, there I go again.

Oh, and speaking of brain-eating zombies, I got a Return of the Living Dead DVD for ten bucks last night. I'm going after the Evil Dead flicks and Dead Alive next. Oh, wait, I gotta get the Young Ones set first. Can you believe that Ren and Stimpy isn't out on DVD? Those assfaces at Nickelodeon will probably release the later, inferior, post-Kricfalusi episodes and leave the original ones in the can. Perpetratin' suckers.

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As of a couple of hours ago, none of you can be the first person to list "perpetrating" as a LiveJournal interest. You can, however, be the first kid on your block to do so. G'head, it's fun.

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When I get home tonight I'm going to listen to The Big Problem Does Not Equal the Solution. The Solution = Let it Be. I can't wait. It's not just a novelty album, either--I really dig it.

useless info

I remember being at Todd and Steven Dewberry's house back in '83 or so. Todd was flipping through the channels and decided to see what was on HBO. It turned out to be some Christopher Reeve movie. "Monsignor?!" Todd screamed. "Monsignor sucks dick." Only he said it with a hard "g"--like mon-SIGG-ner. For some strange reason it struck me as really funny and I laughed for twenty minutes or so.

This is the kind of thing that my brain is cluttered with. Pity me.

dangerpest will have a field day with this one

If I started watching Amelie, would I get over the subtitles in a couple of minutes and settle into the movie? I have it rented from Netflix and have kept it for over a month because I just can't get into the mood to watch a subtitled movie. I feel like such a dumbass.

I was waiting at the bus stop and took out my legal pad to start jotting a few thoughts down. When the guy sitting next to me saw the pad he immediately asked me: "Hey, you sellin' stuff? Hey sir, are you sellin' stuff?"

"Um . . . no . . ."

"Oh. Pffft."

And he stalked across the street to the bar. What did he think I might be selling? Knockoff cologne? Falafel? Crystal meth? No, I guess that's more of a west-coast drug. Anyway, maybe I should start carrying stuff that I can sell. "Well, I got this Damn Yankees CD that BMG sent to me by mistake in 1992. It's never been played. How 'bout a buck-fifty? Great, let me get out my legal pad."

I think I'm going to get a cat this weekend. I'm talking to someone at work who does a lot of work with the Greater New Haven Cat Project. If she says that she can get me a good one, I'm gonna go ahead and do it. I don't want one of those defective cats.

I'll have to think of a good name, though. Most of the pets I've known have had stellar names.

( hot animal love gives way to Wild Turkey and strife )

things get even randomer

Hey y'all, Albert's Cheap Webcam is on tonight. If you're lucky you might get to see him git nekkid.

Oh, and everyone should hear this Crispin Glover album. Who wants a copy?

Check this out: Wes and I wore these pins to a mall in Tuscaloosa once and were reprimanded by an aged security guard.