(no subject)

It would be nice to aspire to something more than a good night's sleep. But I did get one last night, thank dog. Actually, I left work a little early, came home and slept from 5:30-9:30, stirred for a little while, and then slept from 12:30-8. I'm a WINNER yo.

(no subject)

Whoo hoo! Finally got my new computer at work. 19" monitor, P-4 2.66 ghz, 512 mb RAM, DVD/CD-RW. Nice step up from a Pentium 133, 64 mb (32 of which I put in myself), no soundcard piece of shit that I couldn't run anything over 800x600 on. Now I can leave my laptop at home!

(no subject)

Holy Christ. As if there weren't enough things going eight kinds of crazy, I just got some joyous but scary-as-fuck news.

I'm gonna be a poppa. Yep yep. Scary shit, huh? Yep yep.

I don't even have any idea what to think. To be honest it sort of makes me want to hide under a rock, but I have other people to think about. Gah.

ok, yeah, april fool's

Y'all ain't EVEN buyin' what I'm sellin', are ya?!? I guess I shoulda done it early in the day. But I can't help being a little miffed that y'all don't seem to believe that I can impregnate someone! I got crazy sperms! Big, hulking sperms with hair on their chests! I got all kinda seed! *flexes*

*weeps for my unborn child*

(no subject)

Somebody explain something to me: why are some disappearances big news and not others? I mean, don't people go missing all the freaking time? But it's only a select few that make big headlines. Usually white girls.

I haven't had a Coke or any other kind of sodamapop in a week. This is a major accomplishment, for I have been regional champ of the World's Coke-Drinkingest Motherfucker competition seven years running. There's a guy from Walla Walla who always takes me down in nationals, but he's cheating. I think he had some kind of operation in order to be able to take in more Coke. Anyway, yeah, I've been drinking a fair amount of coffee and even iced tea, which is quite out of character for me. I am a bit bummed about the whole thing, though--I thought I would have lost a couple of hundred pounds at least by now. By all rights I should be wasting away to nothing, but it ain't happening. Or hell, maybe it is--I don't own a scale, so how would I know? I might be losing bucketfuls of ass and not even know it.

Not that I've ever been anything but svelte, of course.

(no subject)

It's my half-birthday today. Does that make me half a fool? Half an ass? Half-assed?

Anyway, send me stuff. If each and every one of you sent me half a gift, I'd have . . . a boxful of useless shit.