(no subject)

It has become crystal clear that the folks at the Dunkin' Donuts drive-through are utterly incapable of getting my order right. Two weeks ago I ordered a big-ass black coffee and got a big-ass candy coffee. Last week I ordered a big-ass black coffee with a sourdough bagel and got a big-ass candy coffee with a fucking RAISIN bagel (UGGGGGGGGGGGH!) with STRAWBERRY cream cheese. Today I ordered a big-ass black coffee and got ANOTHER big-ass candy coffee. What's so difficult about "black"? Just pour the coffee! Don't put anything in it!

Maybe my terminology is off. Sometimes I hear people use the term "regular," but I don't know what that means. Does that mean black? Light and sweet? Or does it just mean not flavored, not cappuccino, not latte, just regular old coffee? What's the best way to convey that I want plain, unadulterated coffee goodness?

Yikes. I've become one of those people who get really cranky when it comes to their caffeine.

spelling primer for int0rwebbers

weird

whoa

Learn them. Know them. Live them.

(no subject)

Has anyone ever heard this song??? I've never heard it in my life, but I'm told it's quite a popular kids song. It's perverse!


"I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly..."

I know an old lady who swallowed a Fly.
I don't know why she swallowed that Fly.
I guess She'll die.

I know an old lady, who swallowed a Spider,
that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
I guess she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a Fish
Just made a wish and swallowed the fish.
She swallowed the fish to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
I guess she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a bird.
How absurd to swallow a bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the fish.
Just made a wish and swallowed the fish.
She swallowed the fish to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
I guess she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a Cat.
Imagine that! She swallowed a CAT!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
How absurd to swallow a bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the fish.
Just made a wish and swallowed Th fish.
She swallowed the fish to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
I guess she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a dog.
Oh What a hog to swallow a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
Imagine that! She swallowed a CAT!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
How absurd to swallow a bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the fish.
Just made a wish and swallowed the fish.
She swallowed the fish to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
I guess she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a Goat.
She just opened her throat, and in walked the goat.
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog.
Oh what a hog to swallow a dog.
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
Imagine that! She swallowed a CAT!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
How absurd to swallow a bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the fish.
Just made a wish and swallowed the fish.
She swallowed the fish to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
I guess she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a Cow.
I don't know how she swallowed that cow.
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat.
She just opened her throat and in walked the goat.
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog.
Oh what a hog to swallow a dog.
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
Imagine that! She swallowed a CAT!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
How absurd to swallow a bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the fish.
Just made a wish and swallowed the fish.
She swallowed the fish to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
I guess she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a Horse.
She's dead of course.

(no subject)

OK, what about "Mares Eat Oats"? I'm almost positive that I've never heard it either. When I was a boy, we listened to WHOLESOME songs. "Electric Funeral." "Detroit Rock City." "Cat Scratch Fever." I dunno what the hell you people were into. Musta been learning from some flipped-out hippies. Jumbled and jivey indeed.

(no subject)

Some bands just shouldn't play live. I dig the Postal Service, and especially this tune, but damn. Canned music and off-key vocals don't exactly make for an inspiring performance.

live (well, sorta) "Nothing Better"

(If anyone does want to hear the rest of this radio-station gig, lemme know.)