(no subject)

[wickedflea]

I haven't worked in fast food for many, many years, but still the scars run deep. This morning I dreamed that I was working at BK in Starkville again. I was working drive-thru, and some woman ordered something like a Whopper, a double cheeseburger, and a fish sandwich. Whoever was working with me brought me the bag, and for some reason I looked to make sure everything was in there. Sure enough, there was a Whopper, two fish, and no double cheeseburger. So I took one of the fish sandwiches out and unwrapped it a bit just to see if they'd wrapped something wrong--and instead of a fish sandwich, there was a big-ass head of cabbage in there.

Anyone who knows me knows that I despise cabbage. Naturally, I flipped out. I stormed back to the kitchen with cabbage in hand and demanded to know what twinkle-toed little cocksucker had pulled such a ridiculous stunt, and how in the hell he'd been able to work the cabbage into something resembling a fish-sandwich shape. Just then, Abdural walked past me with a smirk on his face, and I knew it was him. I started chewing him out, and then my friend Tim, the manager on duty, came up and just slugged the ever-loving dogshit out of Abdural. Then he waited a few seconds for Abdural to recover a bit, and slugged him twice more. It was as hard as I've ever seen anyone get slugged. And the sound was incredible. It was like those Every Which Way But Loose scenes where ol' Clint smacks somebody and it sounds like a firecracker going off. Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

That's about all I remember. I do recall thinking, holy shit, this is really bad--even cabbage hijinks don't warrant this kind of brutality.

Comments

[oheunoia.livejournal.com]

i LOVE cabbage...just reading this entry has me craving some...mmm cabbage...

heart,
Petra*

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

But it's so foul! I guess it's good if you like it, though. :)

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

At least it wasn't sauerkraut.

Re:

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

No kidding. I would have woken up screaming!

[enfuego.livejournal.com]

Ah, mon petit chou, how can you hate cabbage so, ahh?

I'd like to go on record right now and say that I love cabbage, in any form. But I'd have been pissed off if I went to a drive-thru and got a cabbage instead of a burger. Pissed off, and surprised, to be factual.

Anyways, thanks for sharing that one, it's one of the best dream sequences I've read of anyones in a long time!

twinkle-toed little cocksucker....HAHAHA!

AHHHHAHAHAHA.....

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

I think my aversion to cabbage has mostly to do with the smell and taste of it. It can actually look quite handsome when it's growing out in the fields, but as far as I'm concerned, it can stay there.

Oh, and I think I got the term "twinkle-toed little cocksucker" from the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket. :)

Re:

[enfuego.livejournal.com]

I love cabbage. Yeah, maybe it does reek when it's cooking, you might be right there, but I rather enjoy cabbage rolls, cabbage salad, boiled cabbage...shall I go on?

Do you hate brussel sprouts, too?

HAHA! Well it worked well in that bit where you were looking for the cabbage-wrapping-offender.

Re:

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Bleargggh, no, that's quite enough! When I think of cabbage I often think of that Ren and Stimpy episode where they cut into that head of space cabbage and it lets out all this noxious gas.

You know, I don't think I've ever eaten brussel sprouts. In fact, I'm sure of it. It's never even been an option--no one has ever offered me any!

Re:

[enfuego.livejournal.com]

Well if you hate cabbage, avoid the brussel sprout at all costs! Imagine a tiny little cabbage, that's about 400 times more bitter than cabbage. Oh yeah. I don't *mind* them, but they're certainly not my favorite veggie. I have to dress them up with a bit of butter, salt, pepper and vinegar.

[lemmons.livejournal.com]

Drinking and pill popping before bed is never a good idea you know.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Man, I dunno what I was doing that night, but it must have been hardcore to have dredged up Abdural from the dark recesses of my mind. I can't even remember what that dude looked like.

[lemmons.livejournal.com]

I was more in awe of the cabbage and how it set you off. You passed rage and went straight to snappin.