wickedflea | (no subject)

I haven't worked in fast food for many, many years, but still the scars run deep. This morning I dreamed that I was working at BK in Starkville again. I was working drive-thru, and some woman ordered something like a Whopper, a double cheeseburger, and a fish sandwich. Whoever was working with me brought me the bag, and for some reason I looked to make sure everything was in there. Sure enough, there was a Whopper, two fish, and no double cheeseburger. So I took one of the fish sandwiches out and unwrapped it a bit just to see if they'd wrapped something wrong--and instead of a fish sandwich, there was a big-ass head of cabbage in there.

Anyone who knows me knows that I despise cabbage. Naturally, I flipped out. I stormed back to the kitchen with cabbage in hand and demanded to know what twinkle-toed little cocksucker had pulled such a ridiculous stunt, and how in the hell he'd been able to work the cabbage into something resembling a fish-sandwich shape. Just then, Abdural walked past me with a smirk on his face, and I knew it was him. I started chewing him out, and then my friend Tim, the manager on duty, came up and just slugged the ever-loving dogshit out of Abdural. Then he waited a few seconds for Abdural to recover a bit, and slugged him twice more. It was as hard as I've ever seen anyone get slugged. And the sound was incredible. It was like those Every Which Way But Loose scenes where ol' Clint smacks somebody and it sounds like a firecracker going off. Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

That's about all I remember. I do recall thinking, holy shit, this is really bad--even cabbage hijinks don't warrant this kind of brutality.