(no subject)

[wickedflea]

I'm on such a huge Candlemass kick lately. Where did that come from? I haven't listened to them much in almost 15 years, and all of a sudden, bam, there I am rockin' the Tales of Creation. Last week I even ordered a live DVD from half.com. Ain't nothing like watching Messiah Marcolin rockin' the funky beats and hittin' the operatic high notes in a monk's habit. I like the doom metal. You kids like the doom metal?

Did y'all ever listen to any of my prank phone calls? I think my favorite is the one where I call MSU basketball coach Richard Williams's radio call-in show and harassed him and Jack Cristil, the guy who's been the voice of MSU sports for over 50 years. It's funny as freakin' hell.

Cristil: Monty here in Starkville has been on the line for a while. Monty, we appreciate your patience—go right ahead.

Chris: Hey, what’s up there tough guys? What’s happenin’ coach?

Cristil: Go ahead, Monty.

Chris: Ah, yeah, I just wanted to tell ya, ya know, congratulations on the season and everything—I think you’ve had a real meteoric rise. But I was wondering, maybe if one reason was the upper-body strength that the players have gained from throwing large animals, such as cows.

[long silence]

Cristil: Monty, I’m sorry—I didn’t understand the question.

Chris: I’ve heard that the players are building up their upper-body strength by throwing cows.

Cristil: Build up the upper-body strength . . .

Chris: . . . by throwing large animals. Such as cows.

Cristil: Throwing large animals at a towel?!?

Chris: COWS.

Williams: Monty, we’re having trouble understanding you.

Chris: Bovine animals! Bovine!

Williams: We’re not understanding the question, Monty. Sorry!

Chris: OXEN! COWS!

That makes me laugh to this day. I really was flipping out--I was like, how many different ways can I fucking put it?

I also dig the one at Taco Bell. And the Trent Lott one. And Tom Snyder. I should try that again sometime...

Comments

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

Oh, man! I was listening to Ancient Dreams on tape the other night. Somehow the cassette got all fuxored so the speed keeps changing. It was so bad that I . It's out of print on CD, so my only hope is Amazon and Half.com.

The other day I found some "experimental" Candlemass albums that apparently were never released in the U.S. I can't remember the titles, but I found them on Amazon.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

E-mail me your postal address and I'll see what I can do. ;)

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

I meant to say, "It was so bad that I gave up after 'Mirror, Mirror' finished playing."

[trivial-things.livejournal.com]

I have to semi-"come out of retirement" to comment. I checked out the soundbytes a year or two ago. I've been wondering all this time if you ever considered reviving Monty for a bit fun.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Howdy stranger. Yeah, somehow I got out of the habit of it--probably cuz I don't watch as much late-night television as I used to, and they don't seem to have call-in shows on TV so much anymore. But I really should try to think up some new schemes.

[motherevol.livejournal.com]

Haha! You crack me up, Flea.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

What's that? You wanna see up my crack?

[dob.livejournal.com]

ahh, why do we have top pay for realplayer.

check out my friends site www.blackout.com

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

There should be a free version--but yeah, I should make mp3s or something. When I made the files about six years ago, realaudio was the best way I could figure out.

I'll check that site out--looks fun.

[dob.livejournal.com]

check his pranks. they're pretty funny.

there seems to be a free version but it's a 14 day trial deal and you have to give them a CC# so I'm not down.

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm. You might try this. I've never used it, so can't vouch for it, but it looks like it might work. I might try it myself, cuz I hate RealPlayer's stank ass.