wickedflea | (no subject)

I'm on such a huge Candlemass kick lately. Where did that come from? I haven't listened to them much in almost 15 years, and all of a sudden, bam, there I am rockin' the Tales of Creation. Last week I even ordered a live DVD from half.com. Ain't nothing like watching Messiah Marcolin rockin' the funky beats and hittin' the operatic high notes in a monk's habit. I like the doom metal. You kids like the doom metal?

Did y'all ever listen to any of my prank phone calls? I think my favorite is the one where I call MSU basketball coach Richard Williams's radio call-in show and harassed him and Jack Cristil, the guy who's been the voice of MSU sports for over 50 years. It's funny as freakin' hell.

Cristil: Monty here in Starkville has been on the line for a while. Monty, we appreciate your patience—go right ahead.

Chris: Hey, what’s up there tough guys? What’s happenin’ coach?

Cristil: Go ahead, Monty.

Chris: Ah, yeah, I just wanted to tell ya, ya know, congratulations on the season and everything—I think you’ve had a real meteoric rise. But I was wondering, maybe if one reason was the upper-body strength that the players have gained from throwing large animals, such as cows.

[long silence]

Cristil: Monty, I’m sorry—I didn’t understand the question.

Chris: I’ve heard that the players are building up their upper-body strength by throwing cows.

Cristil: Build up the upper-body strength . . .

Chris: . . . by throwing large animals. Such as cows.

Cristil: Throwing large animals at a towel?!?

Chris: COWS.

Williams: Monty, we’re having trouble understanding you.

Chris: Bovine animals! Bovine!

Williams: We’re not understanding the question, Monty. Sorry!

Chris: OXEN! COWS!

That makes me laugh to this day. I really was flipping out--I was like, how many different ways can I fucking put it?

I also dig the one at Taco Bell. And the Trent Lott one. And Tom Snyder. I should try that again sometime...