(no subject)

[wickedflea]

to: ask.quality@rwater.com
from: Chris
subject: feculence from my pipes

Hello,

This is what's coming from my pipes this week. This is plain tap water, not tea or coffee.

http://chrisheller.net/brownwater.jpg
http://chrisheller.net/nastytubwater.jpg
(pictures inserted inline so they'd have to look at them)

This is in no way acceptable. I spoke with someone at the water authority on the phone this morning, and she said the trouble was due to the main pump's having gone out on Saturday and something about the secondary pump kicking on and off, causing mineral deposits. And she suggested that it's SAFE TO DRINK. ?!? Balderdash. If I were to try to drink that putrid mud, I'd doubtlessly choke on the sizable particles floating in it.

Furthermore, this is not the first trouble I've had with discolored water and silt at the bottom of the tub and toilet. Off and on for the last six weeks it's been happening--it'll clear up and I'll forget about it, and then it's back in a few days. Only once before, however, about a month ago, was it THIS bad, and only for a few hours. It's been like this all week. I feel like I'm living in a makeshift military encampment in the Congo. I fear that hatemongering mosquitoes of death are going to start flocking to my abode and I'll end up contracting malaria.

Please let me know that this is being addressed in some manner. My property manager said that the water authority told her it would be cleared up by 4 p.m. Monday, and it's only getting worse.

in filth,
Chris Heller

Comments

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I also considered "poppycock" and "hogwash" (the latter of which would have been apt considering how my water looks), but somehow I preferred the ring of "balderdash."

There's a movie waiting to be made: The Ring of Balderdash, starring Sean Connery.