wickedflea: (powerslave)
[personal profile] wickedflea
This is my answer to [livejournal.com profile] blackhellkat's assignment from my last post. This is too important to bury in comments.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Why Faith No More's Cover of "War Pigs" is Vastly Superior to Any Other Version, Including the Original and the Sacred Reich One from the Album Surf Nicaragua


In this term paper I will prove that Faith No More's 1989 version of "War Pigs" is way more better from any other version of this song yet recorded to this day. I will prove this bold assertion by the scientific method of a), II), and 3). To begin:

a.


Introductorily, FNM's version of "War Pigs" is more good than the original Black Sabbath tune because I first heard it at around the same time that I discovered marijuana. Manytime my cronies and I would enjoy a piece of grass, stare at the American U.S. Flag on the wall that had a big bud living inside it, and solve the Big Questions of the Universe inside our own brainses while listening to The Real Thing, of which "War Pigs" is the climax song. For this reasons, the FNM version is superior than the original.

II.


And furthermore to illustrate my thesis, I will call upon the respective various band histories of lead singers Mr. Mike Patton and Ozzy Osbourne, Esq. Mike Patton has recorded and toured with suuch metal gods as Mr. Bungle and Fantomas, playing with such astronomical talents as King Buzzo from the Melvins and Dave Lombardo of Slayer. Ozzy, conversationally, has played with yokel Zaak Wylde and Quiet Riot retread Rudy Sarzo, and he has meanwhile crashed a four-wheeler while in a klonopin stupor. Decision: Patton, and by extension, the FNM "War Pigs."

3.


Finally, Black Sabbath was merely godfather of Heavy Metal, opening the doors for such retards as Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and scores of other talentless three-chord acts. Faith No More, on the other hand, gave birth to the Alternative Nation (TM) of the '90s, without which the world would never have discovered such not-at-all-terrible acts as Stone Temple Pilots, the Spin Doctors, and Four Non Blondes. These truths prove that we can emphatically and quintessentially say that Faith No More's cover of "War Pigs" is the best version ever.

Conclusion

Now that I have proved my point with this scientifical English treatise, I implore you to pass me in AP English and not sentence me to rot for innumerable centuries in detention with the mummies of Ancient Egypt.

THE END

You get your red ryder. A++++++

Date: 2006-05-15 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackhellkat.livejournal.com
I laughed, I cried I got to the part about the Spin Doctors and peed.

Date: 2006-05-15 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notmyworld.livejournal.com
LOL Spin Doctors! Ow ow ow!

Date: 2006-05-15 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Hahaha! Don't be misled, though, that I actually hold this opinion. I like FNM, but nothin'll ever top Sabbath. =)

Date: 2006-05-15 04:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notmyworld.livejournal.com
Well obviously. I love FNM too (at least the Patton Years) but I never really got down with their version of "War Pigs." I am of the opinion that Black Sabbath tunes just shouldn't be covered anymore. It's been done so many times, and the only two I like are Metallica's version of "Sabbra Cadabra" and 1000 Homo DJs (Al Jourgenson) doing "Supernaut." Everything else has blown. Especially Bruce Dickenson's version (with Godspeed) of "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath." Like that guy needs to cover anyone else's shit. He's Bruce fuckin' Dickenson!

Date: 2006-05-15 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cierrablue.livejournal.com
Ozzy, an Esquire? I had no idea. Silly I tells ya.

Date: 2006-05-15 06:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
It's true! ;) Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if some law school had given him an honorary degree as a lark.

I used to have an Ozzy shirt that on the back said something like:

Ozzy is:

a) Imperator of the Dark Legions
b) your granny's favorite singer
c) a metal god

Something like that. I know a and b are right. =)

Date: 2006-05-15 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackhellkat.livejournal.com
If'n he gets a degree before I do I'll be pissed!
From: [identity profile] buscemi.livejournal.com
It's a good thing I know your sense of humor, or I'd have to give you what for in regards to that Iron Maiden comment. *pbbt*
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Hahaha, naw, you know me, mang! Maiden's me favorite! You might remember that I have the Dianno autobiography. ;)

Date: 2006-05-15 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarcasmosis.livejournal.com
dude. mike patton sand for the dillinger escape plan when they couldn't find a singer. i mean fuck...samaritan.

p.s. the shit they recorded with him (including live crap with old songs) is basically better than their other things generally.

Date: 2006-05-15 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Whoa, I had no idea! I've been remiss on keeping up with new music in the last . . . ten years or so. I'm gonna download some of their stuff tonight.

Date: 2006-05-15 07:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarcasmosis.livejournal.com
it might be a bit...uh...well you'll see.

Date: 2006-05-15 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] opened---once.livejournal.com
The Gov't Mule version is best IMO. :P

Date: 2006-05-15 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Haha! I dig it a lot too, but on the LWALHFOF version, Warren does flub the lyrics. "MWAMBA BLAMBA keeps turning . . ." :)
(deleted comment)

Date: 2006-05-16 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wickedflea.livejournal.com
Shut yo mouth.
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