(no subject)

[wickedflea]

This is my answer to blackhellkat's assignment from my last post. This is too important to bury in comments.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Why Faith No More's Cover of "War Pigs" is Vastly Superior to Any Other Version, Including the Original and the Sacred Reich One from the Album Surf Nicaragua

In this term paper I will prove that Faith No More's 1989 version of "War Pigs" is way more better from any other version of this song yet recorded to this day. I will prove this bold assertion by the scientific method of a), II), and 3). To begin:

a.

Introductorily, FNM's version of "War Pigs" is more good than the original Black Sabbath tune because I first heard it at around the same time that I discovered marijuana. Manytime my cronies and I would enjoy a piece of grass, stare at the American U.S. Flag on the wall that had a big bud living inside it, and solve the Big Questions of the Universe inside our own brainses while listening to The Real Thing, of which "War Pigs" is the climax song. For this reasons, the FNM version is superior than the original.

II.

And furthermore to illustrate my thesis, I will call upon the respective various band histories of lead singers Mr. Mike Patton and Ozzy Osbourne, Esq. Mike Patton has recorded and toured with suuch metal gods as Mr. Bungle and Fantomas, playing with such astronomical talents as King Buzzo from the Melvins and Dave Lombardo of Slayer. Ozzy, conversationally, has played with yokel Zaak Wylde and Quiet Riot retread Rudy Sarzo, and he has meanwhile crashed a four-wheeler while in a klonopin stupor. Decision: Patton, and by extension, the FNM "War Pigs."

3.

Finally, Black Sabbath was merely godfather of Heavy Metal, opening the doors for such retards as Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and scores of other talentless three-chord acts. Faith No More, on the other hand, gave birth to the Alternative Nation (TM) of the '90s, without which the world would never have discovered such not-at-all-terrible acts as Stone Temple Pilots, the Spin Doctors, and Four Non Blondes. These truths prove that we can emphatically and quintessentially say that Faith No More's cover of "War Pigs" is the best version ever.

Conclusion

Now that I have proved my point with this scientifical English treatise, I implore you to pass me in AP English and not sentence me to rot for innumerable centuries in detention with the mummies of Ancient Egypt.

THE END

Comments

[wickedflea.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Don't be misled, though, that I actually hold this opinion. I like FNM, but nothin'll ever top Sabbath. =)

[notmyworld.livejournal.com]

Well obviously. I love FNM too (at least the Patton Years) but I never really got down with their version of "War Pigs." I am of the opinion that Black Sabbath tunes just shouldn't be covered anymore. It's been done so many times, and the only two I like are Metallica's version of "Sabbra Cadabra" and 1000 Homo DJs (Al Jourgenson) doing "Supernaut." Everything else has blown. Especially Bruce Dickenson's version (with Godspeed) of "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath." Like that guy needs to cover anyone else's shit. He's Bruce fuckin' Dickenson!